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cecil

Mobius Grope

mobiusgrope

I haven't posted a romance post in a while so, in a recent conversation about crushes, I said to my friend, "Everyone has a crush on the person sitting to their left and no one gets requited." And then I had this image of a circular couch where everyone is looking longingly at the person to their left. And then I got this idea; what if you could grope from behind THE person you would most like to grope, under the condition that someone who feels that way about you, but who you find repulsive, would be allowed to grope you from behind as well. Is this a condition you would accept in order to grope your true most gropable? And with the right combination of people it would form a great loop of one-sided molestation where in a way, if it is a complete circle, everyone gets what they want. Or half of what they want anyway. Kind of like democracy.

[ 31 responses ] < Romance > < link >

[ posted by cecil at 05/11/2005 05:07:31 PM ]
[ trackback ]

Threaded Responses [ bottom ]

kara [email] said at 5:18 PM 05-11-2005:
It would be kind of like the back-scratching circle that me and my siblings and cousin's used to form.
We took that shit seriously. For years, we sat in a line, and then we would switch. Always a debate about who got to be in the middle, always getting the scratch, but always scratching. One day Rachel had the brilliant idea that we should sit in a circle.

Regarding romance: I have learned from observation that the best solution to this problem is to have as many crushes as possible, directing your energy in all directions like a chaos star.
Oh yes, I know, there is always that one, but try your hardest. Don't stand in the line of dominoes.

[Reply To this] [#171245]

kara [email] said at 5:19 PM 05-11-2005:
for my sanity: "cousins", not "cousin's."

[Reply To this] [#171246]

cecil [email] said at 5:24 PM 05-11-2005:
aww, just like monkeys.

[Reply To this] [#171247]

kara [email] said at 5:28 PM 05-11-2005:
whatever man something is wrong with you if you can't appreciate a good back scratch.
anyway ignore that and heed my advice from the latter half of my response.

[Reply To this] [#171248]

cecil [email] said at 5:34 PM 05-11-2005:
no, I totally want to get in that ring of topless girls, who wouldn't?

[Reply To this] [#171250]

julie [email] said at 9:54 AM 05-12-2005:
She never said they were topless! You and your overactive imagination. Actually it's easier to scratch backs with shirts on them.

[Reply To this] [#171306]

kara [email] said at 9:56 AM 05-12-2005:
we werent topless and we weren't all girls.

[Reply To this] [#171307]

cecil [email] said at 1:26 PM 05-12-2005:
what about the monkeys, were they real?

[Reply To this] [#171349]

kara [email] said at 5:30 PM 05-11-2005:

[Reply To this] [#171249]

cecil [email] said at 5:42 PM 05-11-2005:

I call this the Ducky Principle.

[Reply To this] [#171251]

abby [email] said at 10:40 PM 05-11-2005:
your principle is bumming me out.

[Reply To this] [#171274]

reggie [email] said at 10:02 AM 05-12-2005:
I have learned from observation that the best solution to this problem is to have as many crushes as possible, directing your energy in all directions like a chaos star.

Bingo.

[Reply To this] [#171310]

Bendependent [email] said at 6:05 PM 05-11-2005:
cecilporn

cecilporn

[Reply To this] [#171258]

cecil [email] said at 6:16 PM 05-11-2005:
HAHA, I was just waiting for you to rape my diagram.

[Reply To this] [#171259]

shauna [email] said at 11:39 AM 05-12-2005:
one of my chaos crushes is ben now.

[Reply To this] [#171330]

kara [email] said at 1:17 PM 05-12-2005:
"Chaos Crush" is the new, improved, unisex "boy crazy."

[Reply To this] [#171345]

shauna [email] said at 3:35 PM 05-12-2005:
i's just crazy.

[Reply To this] [#171394]

josh [email] said at 3:57 PM 05-12-2005:
i like that her right leg is invisible

[Reply To this] [#171403]

jake [email] said at 12:10 AM 05-12-2005:
There was a study of high-school dating patterns that I read (maybe here?) that showed that a boy would rarely date the ex-girlfriends of his own ex-girlfriend's new boyfriend. Which maybe shows some instinct to stay out of this sort of morass...or to drag more people into the circle.

Whatever, I just want to stab the guys that my crushes have crushes on.

[Reply To this] [#171284]

cecil [email] said at 1:06 PM 05-12-2005:
Once I dated the best friend of my recently exed-girlfriend's new boyfriend. It was just a coincidence and she didn't know the connection, but I did. then one night on a date we discovered that she was there at the guy's house when my ex came over to hang out with him. my ex and I were "semi-broken up" and still living together at that time.

[Reply To this] [#171343]

jake [email] said at 1:10 PM 05-12-2005:
See, from an evolutionary perspective, you shouldn't be overlapping sperm deposits with this guy more than once.

From a dating perspective, if he likes your cast-offs, you shouldn't want his cast-offs.

But from a guy's perspective, whatever gets your balls drained is good.

I need to drink more coffee and then go teach some elementary school kids.

[Reply To this] [#171344]

cecil [email] said at 1:42 PM 05-12-2005:
actually, males that want to pass on their genes want to "overlap" so that their sperm might have a chance at fertilizing the egg before the other guy's does. A cast-off is just a hot property the next day. You want to stay close to the alpha male in the attempt to sabatoge while he is unaware what he has worked so hard to earn the right to have.

[Reply To this] [#171353]

shauna [email] said at 3:37 PM 05-12-2005:
gross.

[Reply To this] [#171397]

cecil [email] said at 4:15 PM 05-12-2005:
by "guy" I mean elephant seal. same goes for wolves though. I watch a lot of nature shows.

[Reply To this] [#171407]

shauna [email] said at 3:37 PM 05-12-2005:
uh, this has not been my experience.

i think if you stay in one place for long enough, you get around to everybody. and then one summer you find yourselves all in a hot-tub filled with tiny frogs and realize that you will always have a deep, resentful bond between you all.

[Reply To this] [#171396]

jake [email] said at 4:14 PM 05-12-2005:
Tiny frogs = orgy orphans?

[Reply To this] [#171406]

Michael said at 2:42 AM 05-12-2005:
Sort of a communal reach-around

[Reply To this] [#171296] [ip: logged]

brandon [email] said at 2:54 AM 05-12-2005:
You could engineer this as a grab-bag with measurable risk in order to get attractive people interested. You could guarantee some percentage of the mix to be certified at least a 7.5 (my 'eh' number from years ago) by "Hot or Not.com" which could lead to all kinds of sponsorship. Those ranking below a 7.5 or refusing ranking could also be charged a fee and or evaluated upon entrance and again upon exit, their scores consisting of fixed values (measurable boob sagging; puniness of biceps) and variable (skill with the hand, moistness of genitalia). In the absence of the guarantee, there could be a prominently stationed display device that kept a running tally of the averages. Monday's and Tuesdays would probably run flat 5's increasing toward the weekend and bottoming out early Sunday mornings with the drunk and desperate crowd. There's a lot of possibility here.

[Reply To this] [#171297]

cecil [email] said at 12:58 PM 05-12-2005:
It could be like Hands Across America.

[Reply To this] [#171342]

shauna [email] said at 3:38 PM 05-12-2005:
you are like a fucking mad scientist.

[Reply To this] [#171398]

brandonA [email] said at 3:52 PM 05-12-2005:
Don't discriminate against the ugly - set up fuzzy tier classes so that you have prehaps a 7-10 class, a 5-8 class, a 3-6 class, and a dog class for under 4's.

Those on the border have an incentive to shape up, dress up or clean up to get into the next class.

[Reply To this] [#171402]

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