So I've got this neighbor - Dave - that lives four houses down and around the corner. Things are spread out a bit so he is about a quarter mile away door-to-door. You would think we wouldn't run into each other much, but you would be wrong.
He lurks. Or at least it seems that way. We can't leave our driveway without seeing him somewhere on the street, trying to flag us down. Same thing when heading home. Some examples:
1. He dropped off two jars of homemade pickles at 7:15 in the morning last month, on a workday. In the MORNING. Then when I drive out of the driveway, he flags me down and says "Art, I dropped off some jars of pickles this morning and knocked on your door but no one answered" (!). I said "yeah Annie is away and I was probably in the shower" His polish accent probably makes him sound more accusatory than he means to be, but there is always that earnestness in his voice.
- Who knocks on a door that early and expects to be answered? And then who is surprised that no one answered?!
2. Last weekend Annie and I went for a walk Sunday afternoon before I left for Vegas. I said to her "I bet Dave is waiting for us". We get about a hundred feet out of the driveway and he is walking towards us with his dog. We stop and chat along with another neighbor and then I say "Annie we have to get going, I need to leave for the airport at 3:30". They acknowledge and we say our goodbyes and continue our loop walk. when we get around to heading back, here comes Dave with his dog trying to catch up with us - I say to her - let's keep going. Five seconds later from behind us "Hey you guys are walking fast!". Without turning around I say "I've got to get to the airport to get to Vegas" with an little edge in my voice. Then I look back at him to avoid coming across as too much of a dick. He still follows for a bit then turns around, saying he will see us when I get back.
Earlier that same morning at 7:25 AM I drove heading to church and there he was trying to flag me down.
He is a nice, smart retired guy (65ish?), married, who apparently likes being social and he has chosen us to be social with. But we just ain't feeling it. What's more is he seems to be upset that he can't catch up with us more. This summer he said pointedly that he never sees us. Sorry dude, but we are pretty busy. We are not going to feel bad about that.
There are many other encounters, it's become something of a joke. I wonder if he has cameras in the woods to see if we are on the move?
myriam [email] said at 4:44 PM 12-01-2006: Someone oughta tell this guy that people move to Maine in order to get AWAY from other people, not get cozy with them.
art [email] said at 6:48 PM 12-01-2006: We enjoy our other neighbors, and we like him too. He is just everywhere all the time. And when he holds you in a conversation, it's never a brief one and he doesn't take hints that it is time to go, either. I've lost pints of blood and slapped myself silly from mosquito bites while trying to get back inside my own house after he has already said his goodbyes
art [email] said at 7:27 PM 12-01-2006: he's got a number of patents and is always writing research papers to be presented at engineering conferences. But he also tried to convince me to use some magnets that he bought that improve gas mileage...
myriam [email] said at 7:30 PM 12-01-2006: He sounds a lot like someone else I know. Curious! I would venture to diagnose some kind of partial asperger's.
art [email] said at 6:36 AM 12-05-2006: She is a nice lady, but quiet. I think he maybe just belongs in a downtown neighborhood or needs to join some social groups somewhere.
anotherben [email] said at 2:57 PM 12-03-2006: don't be a dick. when i lived in sleepy hollow, there were a number of old guys living in the houses around me, and they would wait outside around the time i normally got home to talk. and talk. and talk. grumpy crotchedy old men who didnt like each other much at all after living across the street from each other for over 50 years. anyway, those guys are dead now, and i am glad i let them talk.
art [email] said at 4:37 PM 12-03-2006: I haven't been a dick. In fact we have been overly patient. When he shows up at your front door early in the morning and also tries to stop you EVERY time you drive by and then gets pissy because when he calls your house you aren't home - then its time to step back a little.
art [email] said at 5:01 PM 12-03-2006: And from the beating a dead horse category: Two weeks ago I was heading out to catch some friends for poker. I heard the phone ring but didn't get to it in time and noticed it was him on caller ID. I head out of the house and by the time I get to the top of the driveway he is walking towards me in the rain and pointing back down my driveway like he wanted me to turn around and go back home. I politely waved and kept going.
He would have had to hang up the phone, throw a jacket on, get his dog and start walking immediatly to catch up with me like he did (i am a 1/4 mile away). Who does that? Don't you find that overly intrusive?
I would consider myself a dick for complaining if these 'events' didn't happen three or four days a week.
milky [email] said at 6:56 PM 12-03-2006: Art, some people don't understand personal boundaries.
Take that statement and all the meanings it has for all it's worth. Anyone who would call you a dick for noticing you are clearly being intruded upon on it's face, well...symptom of a larger problem.
Another reason I can't stand old people with just a lil bit of money...they feel entitled to bust up and bother people. No tact.
anotherben [email] said at 1:15 AM 12-04-2006: my apologies. that came out a little more pointed than i meant it to. in re-reading, the guy sounds a bit dodgy.
ed [email] said at 8:52 AM 12-04-2006: Fortunately, I suppose, for me, I live in South Florida. Which means a good neighbor is one who doesn't kill you when you walk past their door.
I do, however, miss the Old South Neighborhood, where you didn't bother locking your doors at night. Seriously, I didn't lock my door until I was a year and a half into college. Now, I lock my truck when going in to pay for the gas I'm about to pump.
Oona said at 10:55 AM 12-04-2006: My Boo Radley-ish neighbor would mysteriously mow my grass and shovel my walk but wouldn't answer the door when I'd try to thank him. He was also unable to make eye contact. Then Carla saw him one night around 2:00 am walking around outside in the nude. We wondered if he mowed my grass and shoveled my walk in the nude, too.
myriam [email] said at 1:44 PM 12-04-2006: My parents live in your basic Classic American Soulless Suburb: Californian Version (red-tiled "Spanish Mediterranean" roofs, houses precisely 6' from each other with a 6' tall concrete block wall in between, palm trees in the front yards). Recently a family moved in to the house across the street who appear to be alarmingly White Trash. They live in the smallest of the four house models--the one with only *three* bedrooms--and yet a steady stream of family members passes through their garage. It seems something like 6 or 7 people live there, yet no one has yet recorded the presence of a father figure. They have about 6 or 7 large cars and extended trucks parked all over the street around their house, so that our visitors have to park halfway down the street. They are the proud owners of two entirely untrained dogs who provde a ceasless chorus of yapping for us hapless neighbors. Also, for Christmas last year they gave their little boy a motorized scooter. This is essentially a scooter with a large lawn motor engine on it. He rides it up and down the street all day long, even on school days.
The faction of Real, Normal Homeowners have mounted an intense campaign of staredowns and visible bristling against these people. Just last week, triumph was reached when a "For Sale by Owner" sign appeared on their lawn. Victory is at hand!
