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jake

Movie This Cast Part 2

Imagine if all these actors got to make a film together.
What story would you like to see them tell?

It's been almost a year but as Myriam first noted, the second installment was just a matter of time.

Please keep in mind:
1. This is fantasy so who cares about the budget impossibilities.
2. Long form HBO series stories are fair game.
3. No, I'm not trying to prove a point or get across some deeper message.
4. Yes, perhaps if there's no subtext at all then there's something racial going on.
5. No, not really but you know I like to stir the pot.
6. Good suggestions which will earn something in the mail, which I promise to send sooner than I sent Courtney's Secret Santa gift from last year, which hopefully has actually arrived by now?

[ 44 responses ] < Movies > < link >

[ posted by jake at 12/16/2005 04:53:14 AM ]
[ trackback ]

Threaded Responses [ bottom ]

jake [email] said at 4:59 AM 12-16-2005:
Bonus points for:
1. Guessing either of the two actors I almost included but didn't quite fit.
2. Happening to come close to any of the 23 story ideas I came up with in October.
3. Picking an August Wilson play.

[Reply To this] [#204521]

pokey [email] said at 9:39 AM 12-16-2005:
where's jean luc picard and james bond?

[Reply To this] [#204536]

jake [email] said at 5:00 AM 12-16-2005:
For those who do not wish to squint:
Peter MacNicol

[Reply To this] [#204522]

andrew [email] said at 5:06 AM 12-16-2005:
i saw the fifth guy walking aroung with ethan hawke one time.

[Reply To this] [#204524]

jake [email] said at 5:37 AM 12-16-2005:
Wallace Shawn?
I have this lovely image now of him waddling furiously around a skinny pair of denim covered knees, while somewhere above Ethan Hawke scribbles little messages on a spiral notepad.

[Reply To this] [#204525]

andrew [email] said at 5:03 AM 12-16-2005:
The Wrong Stuff

[Reply To this] [#204523]

jake [email] said at 5:40 AM 12-16-2005:
Smart guys who didn't make the physical fitness cut?
Or the story of why the Challenger crashed?
Or how maybe we never went up at all?

Or the failure of the Hydrox brand?

[Reply To this] [#204526]

ed [email] said at 6:20 AM 12-16-2005:
Whatever it is, I wouldn't see it. Needs more jomblers.

[Reply To this] [#204527]

jake [email] said at 6:30 AM 12-16-2005:
Believe me, at least half these guys do got jomblers. Man-jomblers anyway.

[Reply To this] [#204528]

cousin daniel said at 8:36 AM 12-16-2005:
i'm not looking at those pictures. i'm not looking at those pictures. i'm not looking at those pictures.

[Reply To this] [#204533] [ip: logged]

jake [email] said at 8:48 AM 12-16-2005:
It's okay, you can open your eyes, I promise I've got my mask back on now...

[Reply To this] [#204534]

bradley said at 9:39 AM 12-16-2005:
I'm gonna go with "Finding Dad", wherein Jake struggles with the hate that he has for his pudgy dad, who has a receding hairline, and how Jake tries to find another father figure to take his place. He does this by having sex with as many pudgy b-level aging actors as he can, but in the end dies of AIDS, contracted from one of at least 6 of the b-level actors. These actors do not have AIDS themselves, but they each try to plant an AIDS-infected needle where Jake will prick himself on it. Their motivation for this is the fact that Jake is so annoying.

[Reply To this] [#204537] [ip: logged]

myriam [email] said at 11:33 AM 12-16-2005:
ha ha ha, I think this is the first funny thing you've ever said on here

[Reply To this] [#204557]

bradley said at 2:18 PM 12-16-2005:
Thanks?

[Reply To this] [#204599] [ip: logged]

kiche [email] said at 10:53 AM 12-16-2005:
why do you hate women jake?

[Reply To this] [#204544]

jake [email] said at 11:24 AM 12-16-2005:
Cause they don't know how to act.

[Reply To this] [#204550]

meredith [email] said at 11:30 AM 12-16-2005:
You are off of my safe list.

[Reply To this] [#204553]

jake [email] said at 11:38 AM 12-16-2005:
"I keed! I keed!"
--Ed quoting Triumph.

It's a joke, see, cause it's a pun!

[Reply To this] [#204559]

meredith [email] said at 11:54 AM 12-16-2005:
A fatal joke. Causing the removal of you from my safe list.

[Reply To this] [#204561]

jake [email] said at 1:35 PM 12-16-2005:
Would it help to know that MTC part 3 is all women?

Or that the majority of the people I'll be rooting for in the Golden Globes are women?

[Reply To this] [#204577]

abby [email] said at 1:06 PM 12-16-2005:
whats a safe list? is it like, you could send him a k-mail when you have a problem to work out?

[Reply To this] [#204568]

meredith [email] said at 1:15 PM 12-16-2005:
No. It means I was going to be nice to him even though everyone else thinks he's annoying.

[Reply To this] [#204572]

abby [email] said at 1:20 PM 12-16-2005:
free your mind and the rest will follow

[Reply To this] [#204575]

meredith [email] said at 1:25 PM 12-16-2005:
Now that song is going to be in my head all day.

[Reply To this] [#204576]

jake [email] said at 1:37 PM 12-16-2005:
Ahh, I see, it's a "safe from Meridith" list...

I thought it was more like "annoying but actually harmless."

[Reply To this] [#204578]

meredith [email] said at 1:49 PM 12-16-2005:
MerEdith. My name is on here all the time, how do people continually get it wrong?

[Reply To this] [#204584]

jake [email] said at 1:57 PM 12-16-2005:
Pure absent minded stupidity.
Your name was right there on the screen in front of me, but hey, men are bad with details, and women can't take a joke.

[Reply To this] [#204589]

meredith [email] said at 2:03 PM 12-16-2005:
You are annoying. How did I not see it before?

[Reply To this] [#204592]

jake [email] said at 2:05 PM 12-16-2005:
Umm, sometimes I try harder?

I really do mean that misspelling your name was pure absent minded stupidity on my part though.

[Reply To this] [#204595]

josh [email] said at 11:31 AM 12-16-2005:

[Reply To this] [#204554]

ed [email] said at 12:48 PM 12-16-2005:
Ahahaha! I always forget about that one.

[Reply To this] [#204566]

abby [email] said at 1:07 PM 12-16-2005:
there's something about josiah

[Reply To this] [#204569]

jake [email] said at 1:37 PM 12-16-2005:
That's good.

[Reply To this] [#204579]

abby [email] said at 2:05 PM 12-16-2005:
thanks!

[Reply To this] [#204594]

art [email] said at 1:19 PM 12-16-2005:
I would like to see them kill each other off in painful and degrading ways and then see the lone survivor drive a railroad spike into his own skull while he sings Oklahoma

[Reply To this] [#204574]

kiche [email] said at 2:44 PM 12-16-2005:
i can actually movie this cast.

these men are all in an army unit. it's 2008. declining african american enlistment has left the military almost entirely white. declining overall enlistment coupled with the growing power of the religious right in government removing all women from the military has forced the army to drastically lower it's standards in education and physical fitness.

in addition to the war in iraq and afghanistan; bush has declared wars in venezuela, north korea, iran and cuba. all wars are being lost. the city of new orleans is now submerged in the gulf of mexico due to another hurricane and severe neglect from the federal government. the entire national guard is overseas fighting wars causing minor natural disasters in the u.s to spiral out of control. the annual forest fires in the western states have not been fought and are burning out of control. a mid-level earthquake has hit the west coast and has been ignored. the mississippi river is flooding in the midwest, and because the national guard is overseas this is becoming an enormous disaster.

domestic terrorism and riots are normal. the mayors of most major american cities are threatening to split off from america.

in this time of unprecedented chaos our arch-conservative government has decided to tackle the number one problem facing america - homosexuals in the armed forces.

wallace shawn plays the man who is supposed to root out any homosexuals in the unit the rest of these fine gentlemen are in. ron rifkin plays his secret lover in that unit. peter mcnicol plays the right wing religious fanatic in that unit who is suspicious of ron rifkin's homosexuality and tries to get shawn to have him prosecuted for homosexuality. shawn does not want to do this because he is deeply in love with rifkin; but realizes that his protection of rifkin risks the exposure of his own homosexuality.

paul giammatti plays the heroin connection for many members of the unit who are all demoralized from the losing wars and watching their country fall apart.

eugene robert glazer plays the unit sgt and carreer military man who is trying vainly to hold the unit together despite the chaos and misdirection destroying them.

bob balaban plays the slightly unhingened private who slowly loses it as the chaos continues to mount at home in america, abroad in the world, and in his unit. in the finale he goes completely insane, slaughters everyone in his unit in the sickest most inhumane ways possible.

balaban then frees the famous serial killers, mutants and terrorists who are being held in abu ghraib (did i mention that they are abu ghraib, well they are at abu ghraib, and charles manson is now being held there). balaban then leads this motley assortment of psychopaths and deformed mutations off to found a new nation, the united socialist federation of homorabia.

[Reply To this] [#204611]

jake [email] said at 4:45 PM 12-16-2005:
Sort of 1984-meets-The Warriors-meets-Bent-meets-That Luke Perry Cable Show, Jonah or something?

[Reply To this] [#204647]

kiche [email] said at 2:20 PM 12-17-2005:
sort of like jarhead meets cruising.

[Reply To this] [#204740]

milky [email] said at 4:52 PM 12-16-2005:
Needs a dose of Araki mentality

[Reply To this] [#204652]

jake [email] said at 4:50 PM 12-16-2005:
How about:
Salt II: The Treaty that Never Was
A drama taken to the edge of farce about the grinding edge of politeness between two enormous nations that go home empty handed and prove, years later, that more nukes can sometimes be good news?

[Reply To this] [#204650]

zack [email] said at 7:02 PM 12-16-2005:
i dunno, but it would be called Too Many Ugly White Dudes

[Reply To this] [#204681]

jake [email] said at 7:45 PM 12-16-2005:
A wild and crazy tale of colonial troublemakers who went out for one last night of freewheeling tea sinking and tea bagging before submitting to the yoke of matrimony?

Call it Benjamin Franklin's Bachelor Party!

[Reply To this] [#204684]

chrisx [email] said at 7:18 PM 12-16-2005:
Looks more like a infomercial for Hair Club for Men.

[Reply To this] [#204682]

jake [email] said at 7:40 PM 12-16-2005:
Like, the 20 year reunion of a group of phone phreaks, code gurus, and serious linux wizards, who reach out for each other when their kids are sent to prison by the RIAA? They combine forces to create a new, untraceable peer-to-peer network, and download their kids right out of the prison library using antique cue-cat scanners and cutting edge molecular deconstruction technology stolen from Haliburton??

Call it: Hackers v2.0: Gleaming the Dome

[Reply To this] [#204683]