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julie



Ouija Mouse

I have an optical mouse on my computer at work. This is it:



Dear readers, do not be deceived by its harmless appearance. This mouse is demonic.



Let me explain. On Monday, when I started up my machine, the pointer arrow was frozen on the screen and the little red light inside the mouse was not on. I checked the wire, shut down, started up again, and everything was back to normal. Or so I thought. My mouse is now possessed. It is a veritable Ouija mouse: every so often while my hand rests on it, perfectly still, the cursor on the screen will start to drift verrrrry slowly, on its own accord. Or should I say, under the control of spirits and ghoulies. So far it seems to enjoy drifting left and up. It hasn't clicked on anything yet by itself, but I assume this is the next logical step. The funny thing is, when I remove my (motionless) hand, the drifting stops. When I touch the mouse again, the drifting continues.
The next time it happens, I'm going to start recording the letters/images that it comes to rest on, because I really do think it's slowly spelling out a message to me. (Q-U-I-T S-U-R-F-I-N-G T-H-E I-N-T-E-R-N-E-T maybe, or Y-O-U W-I-L-L D-I-E I-F Y-O-U D-O-N-T F-I-N-D A N-E-W J-O-B S-O-O-N.)



On a related note, can anyone recommend a good replacement song to get 'Ouija board, Ouija board' out of my head?

[ posted by julie at 03/09/2006 09:12:48 PM ]
[ trackback ]



Threaded Responses [ bottom ]
brandon [email] said at 9:41 PM 03-09-2006:
omg, Julie, you truly are some kind of fuckable beast.
    julie [email] said at 1:24 AM 03-10-2006:
    Do you really think that's what the mouse is trying to spell out? Creepy.
      brandon [email] said at 12:08 AM 03-11-2006:
      Mice are notoriously horny creatures. Huge balls.

      I would bet money that it's read more into the act of you holding, clicking and maneuvering it than you intend.

      To test this, furiously rub the mouse around on your crotch for a while. If it feels good, then you can be pretty confident that you mouse has erotic feelings for you.

      But just to be sure, you should probably take photos and send them to me.
cecil [email] said at 11:17 PM 03-09-2006:
*scroll scroll click*
*scroll scroll click*
Ouija Quija Rock You!
courtney [email] said at 11:50 PM 03-09-2006:
it's like blair witch for the cube kiddies.
julie [email] said at 1:30 AM 03-10-2006:
Also, have I pointed out on Killoggs before that the word Ouija is made up of the words for Yes in French and German?

I had a friend in 8th grade who was into playing Ouija... it was the perfect "spiritual" parlor game, because when it didn't work (which was always), she would blame the person present who clearly didn't believe in its magical powers. Then glare at me.
    myriam [email] said at 10:55 AM 03-10-2006:
    I've never understood why it was pronounced "Whee-gee".

    I had a girlfriend like this, too... same girlfriend who had MTV on 24/7 and introduced me to the very first season of the Real World, to which she was addicted.
      julie [email] said at 11:33 PM 03-10-2006:
      Yeah, all my good forbidden cable-tv-watching was at friends' houses. Those were the days: the Thriller video, and the Witches of Eastwick. Jesus, talk about nightmares for days...
julie [email] said at 1:38 AM 03-10-2006:
I just googled 'Ouija mouse' because I was thinking, the similarity between a computer mouse and the little white plastic doohicky in the game is pretty striking. In addition to links for buying a Ouija board mouse pad (no good, my mouse isn't moving, just the cursor) I found this page. You're supposed to gather your friends around, lay your hands lightly on your mouse, and voila. I guess it doesn't work with a laptop trackpad, haha.

Man, the internet sure is full of satanic tools of the Occult once you start looking.
meredith [email] said at 10:52 AM 03-10-2006:
I think the mouse is trying to tell you that you need a vacation. Perhaps to someplace fabulous, fun and relaxing all at once. Some place in the midwest....
    rick [email] said at 9:20 AM 03-11-2006:
    Branson, Missouri!
      julie [email] said at 11:51 AM 03-11-2006:
      Haha! A hipster's favorite vacation spot!
        brandon [email] said at 3:13 PM 03-11-2006:
        Funny, two days ago at a thrift store I found a brochure for Silver Dollar City. The person I was with had been there as a kid, too. I found this coincidence to be very OZARKeresting.
          brandon [email] said at 3:56 PM 03-11-2006:
          Has anyone else been here? And if you have, can you confirm the existence of a ride that involved a lynch mob?
ericanm [email] said at 9:53 AM 03-11-2006:
my optical mouse moves on its own like that sometimes too. i never really gave it a second thought.
    julie [email] said at 11:54 AM 03-11-2006:
    I just found it strange that mine never did this until a few days ago. I've had it for months! You know how you read those stories about people whose computers get hacked, and they sit there and watch while their cursor moves all around, clicking on things and opening things, because it's being controlled by the hacker? I was hoping it would be something interesting like that. (Let me add again that this is my WORK computer, not my personal computer.) But, no, it's just random drifting....
brad [email] said at 11:25 AM 03-11-2006:
I think you're just hallucinating from sleep deprivation. Don't you have like 3 jobs?
NathanK said at 12:04 AM 03-12-2006:
Your camera phone really does flip images.
[Reply To this] [#218214] [ip: logged]
    julie [email] said at 12:40 AM 03-12-2006:
    No, it doesn't. I think I explained this already in a different post, the one where I posted pics of myself and Matty B. My phone takes normal pictures. It ALSO has a self portrait function where you close the lid of the phone, and with the phone facing you, you can see the picture of what you're taking in the small screen on the front. Those pictures end up flipped. But not the normal pictures.


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