It was Connie's birthday. Dinner was over, cake had been eaten, candles blown out and the bill paid. The logical next course of action is to find a karaoke bar. Meg and Jeff were content to watch, but Connie did a fabulous rendition of 'Because the Night' which Micheal followed with 'Bad Leroy Brown'. I even convinced Jeremy to sign up and I was actually looking forward to singing 'Maggie May'. My only real concern was that I might trip in my four inch boots.
Connie's husband Chad was waiting to take the stage and sing some Cure when a drunk guy with his arm in a sling stumbled in. He bumped into Meg's chair and kind of stared at us. I gave him a look and he apologized to Meg, took two more steps and collided with Jeff's chair. Jeff being the smallest guy with us I suppose Arm Sling Guy thought it would be appropriate to start shit with him. Connie told him off and a guy with a mustache came over and kind of pulled Arm Sling Guy to the side. He yanked out a cell phone, which Connie thought was a knife, so we went over and told the bartender to call the police. Then Arm Sling Guy began talking on his phone and turned his back to us. We figued the situation had been diffused and convinced Chad to go up and sing his song. Chad was one verse into Just Like Heaven when Arm Sling Guy came back, grabbed Jeff by the collar, ripping all of the buttons off his shirt and elbowed him in the back of the head. Connie began screaming obscenities at Arm Sling Guy who was still trying to fuck with Jeff and Mustache Guy was between them trying to get Connie to shut up. Chad jumped off the stage and slapped his hand over Connie's mouth and tried to diffuse Arm Sling Guy and Mustache Guy. Jeremy handed me his glasses and made his way over to that side of the table, grabbed Mustache Guy and Arm Sling Guy by their collars and began heaving them through the crowd towards the exit. I put Jeremy's glasses on the table and Micheal and I tried to hold Chad back and calm him down. At this point Meg is crying.
Chad starts flailing even more wildly and yelling "Jeremy's in trouble!!! Jeremy's in trouble!!" Micheal and I look over and Jeremy and the other two are in some kind of heaving combat. It's hard to tell if Jeremy is shoving them in the direction of the door or if he's being hauled around himself. We drop Chad and run over.
Mustache Guy is latched on to one of Jeremy's arms but Jeremy is still holding on to both guys and almost has Arm Sling Guy out the door. Chad is somehow between Mustache Guy and Jeremy and Micheal gets in front of Jeremy with his back to Arm Sling Guy. Arm Sling Guy reaches over Micheal's shoulder and punches Jeremy square on the nose. This angers me and I give Arm Sling Guy a palm strike to the face with the heel of my hand. They succeed in getting him out the door but he is still struggling to get back in screaming 'I want my hat! I want my hat!' I see his hat on the floor and dive for it and threw it after him, "Here's your hat, you fucker!"
Mustache Guy points a finger at Jeremy, Chad and Micheal, "You guys are gone!" He says as squad car after squad car pull up. This is when we realize that Mustache Guy is the bouncer and not Arm Sling Guy's friend. Chad talks him out of pressing charges as long as we immediately vacate the area while the rest of us gather our stuff. A Sergent, a Detective Unit and four regular squad cars swarm around the place. You would have thought the place was burning down.
