Yeah, that's right! I said it. Fuck Chuck Klosterman!!
This is a dual statement. Let me explain.
I never, never read. I just don't. Up until this point in my life I've probably only read a handful of books. And when I say handful, I'm talking like 4 or 5. But, when my now ex-girlfriend (we'll get into that later), J*** read me the first essay from Sex, Drugs, and Cocoa-Puffs, the whole time I was like "I could have fuckin Written this book!" Chuck Klosterman is increadible!!! Really. I absolutely love this book. And this is from a guy who admits that he never reads.
So why would I say "Fuck Chuck Klosterman"? Because, using the word "fuck" is implying 2 definitions : (a) I want to fuck (as in have sex with him) because I love him, and (b) fuck (as in I want to kill that motherfucker) because I will now be labeled a second rate, wannabe Chuck, even though I'm not. Now, I'm not saying that I could have written a book as increadible as Sex, Drugs, and Cocoa-Puffs. I know that. Don't get me wrong. All I'm saying is that, "yes, wether you believe me or not I had the same feeling about John Cusack ruining our generation's relationships. I also think movies and media teach us to believe 'fake love' is really how love is suppose to be. And I too have made the argument that movies about love are ONLY 90 FUCKING MINUTES LONG and real relationships last FUCKIN' YEARS! (6 years!!!). And, I too especially felt 'When Harry Met Sally' to be extrodinarily fucking a lot of people's heads up and skewing their prospect of your best friend really being your true love and soul mate. I hate to break this to you, but their not!"
And just look at the way I'm writing this post. I mean, come on! I'm totally coping him! Totally! And just as he put it - I'm the equivelent of "Coldplay" because "Coldplay" is a photocopy of Travis, who is a photocopy of Radiohead. Chuck is Radiohead. (Also, like Chuck, I think Coldplay is the absolute shittiest band ever. Well, on second though, Third Eye Blind might be the shittiest band ever, but Coldplay is giving them a run for their money). You must buy and read this book. YOU MUST. Also, the essay about the Guns And Roses cover band "Paradise City" is laugh out loud funny.
[And back to Neal]
Yes, I am no longer in a relationship. I am now living alone in the French Quater. This past weekend has been both the hardest weekend of my life and one of the best. (Oh great, now he thinks he's Charles fuckin Dickens! Get an orginal though Neal!) I don't really want to go into it. I'll leave that for another post.
Also, I will not post for the next week. I'm going to visit Bill Evans (as in Unkle Bill fame) in Seattle. Cough, Cough. A-uhm. Canada!
zack [email] said at 2:16 PM 09-02-2003: I just wanted to say that although I could give a shit about Coldplay, there are plenty of worse bands. Sorry about your breakup though. Was she hot?
neal [email] said at 3:05 PM 09-02-2003: Sometimes she was hot. Usually if she was laying in the sun or sitting next to a heater. And, well, it's summertime in New Olreans so she's probably hot a lot of the time.
Randy [ url ] said at 2:28 PM 10-20-2003: Having finally and recently read the essay this post was about, I have to say... he makes a really good argument for why Coldplay is so shitty, and in the context of the essay, Coldplay works well to illustrate his point.
John said at 5:55 PM 09-02-2003: Neal, I was able to score us 4 free tickets to the Seahawks/Saints game. One is for me, and I'll probably scalp the other three. I don't know what you and Bill and Patrick are going to do.
John said at 3:04 PM 09-03-2003: We're all going out somewhere on Saturday night. Maybe you and Mike G. can come and meet us out somewhere? I'm not from Seattle so I can't really suggest a place.
shelly [email] said at 7:42 PM 09-03-2003: you can email me through killoggs if you want to try. i've got house guests so i'll be party to their whims. i remember bill. i don't think? i know you or neal. if you know eli and peter and jaime, they all live in seattle too.
mike [email] said at 12:02 AM 09-03-2003: Hey neal. This is mike G. While your in seattle, can you do me a favor. I did a google search of my name, which is very uncommon (i believe we number below 20 in the US), and there happens to be a Michael Guerzon that lives in Seattle. His number is (206) 277-8945 and lives at 4234 Southcenter Blvd. I figure after you smoke, you could maybe spy on this guy and see what he's like, if he's filipino like me, or even if he is a clone. Thanks, get back to me
Daniel said at 1:35 PM 09-03-2003: at least you don't have to walk past t-shirt shops here in new york where the new shirt denotes the 20 different uses for the word fuck.
meredith [email] said at 7:08 PM 09-03-2003: Sorry/Glad you're going through a worst/best time. You'll have fun in Seattle though because you'll be with John. He's normally fun. If not, you can laugh at him. Kick Bill a couple of times in the ass and tell him it's from me.
meredith [email] said at 7:39 PM 09-04-2003: You're fun John. Except when I have to beat you up. And even that's kind of fun. Come to my party in October and be fun.
