On the Wednesday before Christmas, I found out I was pregnant. I had my suspicions, but they were confirmed on December 21. That night, Joe asked me to marry him. I accepted. Two days later, I flew to Birmingham, Alabama, to spend Christmas with my family. I told them of the engagement, but told only my mother about the baby. They're right proper Southern people, and most of their existence revolves around shielding my grandmother from potentially shocking or scandalous information. My wedding being a shotgun wedding definitely qualifies.
The family is excited for me, though they are somewhat perplexed by my plans to have the wedding here in DC, in February. My mother understands, of course, and I'm sure others have put two and two together, but the reasons remain unspoken. The wedding is going to be pretty small - about 50 people - and we're having the reception at the restaurant where Joe is the executive chef. Joe's family is positively ecstatic, his mother especially, who thought she would never have a grandchild bearing her name.
On Wednesday of this week I bought my wedding dress. It's beautiful. I hope it still fits me six weeks from now. On Thursday, Joe and I went to the Arlington County Courthouse and were married by a justice of the peace with no rings, witnesses, or photos. We did this for insurance purposes. When repeating my vows to him, I misspoke and said that I took him "for Betty or for worse". It was pretty funny.
The reception is planned, but I'm still looking for a church. I like the Episcopal church, and I'm looking for a church because I don't really want to have the ceremony at the restaurant where I used to work, and where Joe still works. It would be weird. So I've been church-shopping for a couple of days now, and apparently if you're not a member of the parish in question, they require a hefty sum.
I have to choose a doctor by Monday, and make an appointment as soon as possible, since by my estimation I am going on eight weeks. Also I need to pick up literature about pregnancy and child rearing. I need to find a realtor and apply for an FHA loan. I need to get my transcript from LSU and enroll in George Mason for the summer semester. There are countless other things I need to do, but for just this small moment, I am going to do nothing. I'm going to sit back and reflect on the situation and rejoice a little bit.
brandon [email] said at 12:26 AM 12-30-2005: I would be, too, honestly. It's a lot of change. But you're a smart kid, a really smart kid, and you and this Joe seem to connect. But what the hell do I know? Right. I think it's good news and, like you said, something to rejoice in. So rejoice and be confident, already ;) Again, congrats.
brandon [email] said at 2:07 AM 12-30-2005: Ha! Well, I guess more babies for everyone? Oh-pah.
Katie's got good grammar-genes: I'd definitely take one. I could train it to spot-check briefs for me in return for nourishment, hugs, tubes in its ears (if it needs them), childhood innoculations and a place to sleep where the possums can't get to the soft-spot on its head.
kate [email] said at 12:34 AM 12-30-2005: This just happened to my sister. She got married last weekend. Honestly, everything is great! I really am shocked how we just all are in love with that BABY! I got to be around him for the first two months and it was the best thing ever. All I ever knew about being a new mother was that they were tired all the time. I got to see how fun it was to be around my nephew, and watch my sister learn how to be a new mom and enjoy the hell out of it. I mean, I'm just gonna say what I said after Turner was born, which is so dumb, but whatever, babies are soooo much for fun than puppies! and whoa! you know puppies are fun, so that's saying a lot. that sounds like the most immature statement ever, but gosh, i guess i still can't get over how wonderful and NOT cheezy it is. she had her baby first and then got married by the way. she's 21. just so you would know. she had to stop going to LSU and transfer to mcneese to be home. but she hasn't stopped going to school. mom watches turner for her while she is at school. his other grandmother works.
with elizabeth, the only person who really had a problem with her being pregnant out of wedlock was my grandfather. he is the only one left. he had such a problem with it, he still hasn't gotten over it, even though he acts like he has. i honestly think if my grandmother was still alive she would have set him straight from the beginning and we wouldn't have heard things from him about him not approving of what she has done to the family's name. he never said this directly to her, but said this to me and my other sister. which of course enraged me. ever since my grandmother died, he hasn't really been the same person, that's another story. MY POINT...IS that these are just modern times. YAH family has GOT TA love ya no matter what. IT'S not like you are sitting your ass in jail pregnant, and it's not liked you are hooked on something. You married a nice guy and hey, you are old enough. They'll be glad for you! This also happened to my cousin now that i think about it. She had a wedding in baton rouge and was pregnant during the wedding. I mean, whatever. She's from a good family too. This stuff happens! She insists that birth control just doesn't work for her. and she's thankful it didn't because she has the best little girl (and boy now too) ha! and HELL, husband.
JEEZ, i am sure i didn't finish my point, but i just realized that i may be talking too long. These are modern times. I know people talk, whatever. I had to tell fucking anoying so and so's mother on christmas eve at church that Lizzie got married the weekend before...and i just went ahead and said it was because she was pregnant and i wish i hadn't had said that...but she looked so puzzled because lizzie is just 21. i didn't know what to say, mom wasn't there to save me, i was just with my aunt. then i told her that i was living in chapel hill and it was cool her daughter was in dc, both cool towns, and we are cool single girls in cool towns...BLABBING!! and then i get home and mom tells me that her daughter is getting married. her mom didn't even tell me!! ugh?! i hate those people.
omg...i'm done talking now.
congrats...don't listen to me other than the inspiring stuff, ha.
amy [email] said at 1:05 AM 12-30-2005: congratulations katie and joe. you're gonna be an awesome mom cuz you're cool.
warning: advice forthcoming
i'd recommend a certified nurse midwife as opposed to an ob/gyn. the kind that belong to a large practice and are supervised by the doctors. in my experience they are more attentive and generally have more time for you. a CNM DOES NOT mean that you have the baby at home or without drugs.
The classics you kind find everywhere are the "What to Expect" series. Some women don't like the what if stuff in them but I like to know everything. Also check out books by the younger Dr. Sears esp about attachment parenting. Sign up for email updates from babycenter.com. If you have questions about medications you might be on during pregnancy listen to no one who doesn't know who Thomas Hale is. If you need info google Hale and the medication.
amy [email] said at 1:35 AM 12-30-2005: yay, i was about 2 seconds away from taking all my maternity wear to the resale store. Email me your address and I'll send it to you instead. I like to know other people I care about use stuff I passed along, keeping it in the family, so to speak. I'll also send some baby clothes.
Bob said at 1:43 PM 12-30-2005: I'd express shock and surprise, but Mary let the cat out of the bag yesterday (not D.C., though, him we're timing how long it takes to claw his own way out). So instead I'll just express congratulations: wahoo!
