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carla
From an old journal entry, 1994.

Hi again!
Today was the boat trip! You know what- IT SUCKED.
You know why? Because I don't fit in with those eediots. Oh, by the way I don't go with that ugly ass two timing, dick sucking mother fucking son of a bitch Kenny. He danced with like every girl there but me- he totally ignored me. You know why? Because I made him really jealous in front of Brent (and I wore a weird outfit).

See, my crush on Brent just gets bigger everyday. We flirt with eachother all the time and yesterday to make Kenny jealous I kind of put my arm around Brent and touched his shoulder. I knew Kenny was watching too. Then this girl Andrea told Yanci she thinks my flirting w/ Brad made Kenny really jealous.

FUCK M ALL.

I don't know if Brent likes me, he fools around with my hair, teases me and flirts with me a lot. He also does that with this bitch Kim ****. I've got this little PRECIOUS PINECONE joke and he calls me Sprocket and Sporegasm.

I hope he does!
I like him alot.
If he was at the boat dance I know I'd be dancing with him.

Today I said "Where is my tennis racket?"
He said "Up your ass"
I love that.

Scrawled on top of this entry is "BRENT IS A DORK. NO WAY. DO NOT LIKE HIM."


[ 7 responses ] < Post > < link >
[ posted by carla at 08/25/2008 10:49:29 PM ]
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myriam [email] said at 9:03 AM 08-26-2008:
This is so incredibly cringe-inducing, because it reads almost EXACTLY like any given diary entry of mine from 1993. Yeesh. I occasionally think "oh I should poke through my old diary!" and then slam the cover shut again after just one randomly-selected paragraph. I keep that thing in a deep dark recess so I never have to see it and remember what a putz I was. It's a miracle I made it out of junior high without imploding from emotion.
    carla [email] said at 7:58 PM 08-26-2008:
    Oddly enough, I'm not embarrassed of this stuff at all (I mean, maybe I should be?).

    It all just amuses me to end and makes me laugh. I would never want to go back in time and re-live those years but it's nice to be reminded that I was just this normal girl who got crushes and really felt things and wrote about it to vent.

    Also, to be really honest, these old journal entries really aren't much different than any current (private) entry I've written (just better grammar, spelling and punctuation).
      myriam [email] said at 9:15 AM 08-27-2008:
      Hmm, I never thought of it that way. Hmm. Actually I really shouldn't be embarrassed by them either. I mean, I am who I am, right? Hmm. I need to look at them again in that light.
        marcia [email] said at 4:07 PM 08-27-2008:
        Don't look at them again. I felt like a jerk when I read through my old journals, mostly because I bitched about what an asshole my sister was --which she actually was -- but I didn't need to see the evidence of it written DOZENS of times. I used to call her a "twitch" (twat and bitch) which kind of amuses me. I had forgotten my sister and I were in a 4 year war with each other. Oy. I have slowly been destroying old journals every time I visit my mom.

        Though notes between friends in class are a pure joy to go through. No wonder I failed math my sophomore year. All we talked about was sex, drugs, and boys. Which, I suppose, I still do to this day...Hm....
          brandon [email] said at 4:45 PM 08-27-2008:
          Seconded - don't bother with journals. Especially if you took a poetic bent at any point in your life.

          Class notes are highly amusing. I've got a bunch in a scrap book somewhere. It would be amusing to post some, with identifying information - expurgated of course.


          NPR did a story a while back about an amateur night where people would get up on stage and read their old journals at some kind of cabaret. I can't find it, but, I didn't really try. If you find it, the performances are cringe-inducing, but sort of liberating. Even very, very smart people were teenagers at one point.
carla [email] said at 11:30 PM 08-26-2008:
also, i love how i forgot to change dude's name once. doh.
julie [email] said at 9:00 PM 08-29-2008:
I loved reading this!


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