a week from saturday, i turn 25.
up until i turned 24, i felt really accomplished in my life. i graduated college where i was bored but excelled. i was studying for the gre and planning to attend a phd program in history in the fall of 05. i had a job at a museum and had my research and writing published in exhibits and in a one-day-to-be-published book. i organized shows in my basement in philadelphia, the proceeds from which often benefitted really positive causes like paying for self defense courses for women who otherwise could not afford them. up until age 24 riding my bike was a revolution, and i really lived what i believed.

in year 24, i spent a lot of time on the internet, drinking beer and being crazy. while i am kind of down on myself about it in some ways, i also think about all the time i spent during those 21st, 22nd and 23rd years busting my ass to get so much done to benefit other people. but the real benefit was to myself. in my head, i was taking a year off to collect myself and "enjoy" myself. i thought that going out drinking and dancing and throwing parties was enjoying myself. and in moderation, it is.

i went through this once before. it's disappointing that i didn't see this coming, even. but i guess i do it because i need it, and then snap back out of it and into a more empathetic section of my brain. i am back in there again, and i am ready to make things happen again. i am looking to hopefully get a show on radio cpr, i am organizing a bike race - and if it goes well i will be organizing more to raise money for radio cpr - and i made a valiant return to a life of veganism.

the moral of the story is: i am happier when i feel like i am doing something with my life that positively affects other people. when i am not, i am only behaving in a way that NEGATIVELY affects me. it makes so much sense on paper but in reality it's a lot harder to strike the balance between dfferent types of fun.

but of course i couldn't have a birthday without a BIRTHDAY PARTY!!!
but this year there is also a BIKE SCAVENGER HUNT!!!
on the evening of july 23rd, all you folk with bikes* should meet up at malcolm x park at approximately 7pm. there you will team up with a buddy and collect various items and dc information for the next couple of hours and then cross the finish line at MY HOUSE FOR A MULTIKEG JAMMY JAM! you know where i live. if not send an email to my head.

* folks without bikes - there are other ways to participate and you can email me to find out. or just show up to the party at my house at party time and bring some booze.

p.s. since it's my birthday you all should buy me presents