...is that she was sexually assaulted, in the following manner:
she went to some guy's apartment,
and things were going further than she wanted,
and she felt uncomfortable with the situation,
so she said no once, and again,
and he did not stop at all,
so she kneed him as hard as she could in the groin,
punched him in the face,
grabbed her clothes and left.
And your reaction is:
A: Oh my god that's awful-are you okay?
B: That bastard, do you want help going back there to fuck him up?
C: Tell me what happened so I can understand.
D: Oh, yeah, sucks when that happens.
E: Damn, way to kick his ass! Good for you!
F: Something else entirely?
Also:
How do you think your gender and your past experiences have shaped or changed your answer?
I swear I didn't know it was International Woman's Day until I left killoggs and went and saw google's special frontpage.
I am not trying to say anything in a round about fashion: This actually happened and I was curious what people's thoughts would be.
ed [email] said at 9:45 AM 03-09-2005: E. Someone very close to me was once sexually assaulted, so back in the day, it would have been a variation on B (tell me who the mofo is so I can go kill him), but kinder gentler Ed would just be satisfied knowing that he got his dick knocked in the dirt by a chick.
brianbibbly [email] said at 10:03 AM 03-09-2005: Jake, how old are you now? This is like some stupid high school after school special shit. You are always`posting garbage like this. Here is the answer:
G. Punch Jake in the face for being such a dramatic, simpering, emo asshat who actually gives two shits about stupid events like "International Womans Day."
jake [email] said at 1:44 PM 03-09-2005: Bibbly, you jackass, get the fuck out of my posts if you don't like them. OR, bring some taunts that make some fucking sense. What part of I didn't know it was international women's day makes you think that that's what this post is about?
And for your seeming underlying point: I'm not asking for advice on how to respond--I was wondering how my response compared to other people's. Go give your secretary a warm fuzzy, why don't you.
gen [email] said at 10:09 AM 03-09-2005: It's not detailed enough an account for me to formulate an opinion. Saying "no" twice - was she wispering a weak "no" yet continuing to make out with the person (were they making out?), was she screaming "no", "stop", "get the fuck off of me" while struggling to leave.... That nuance is missing from this account.
myriam [email] said at 1:54 PM 03-09-2005: yeah I was thinking the same.
To be the most honest, I would have to say that to her face I would probably cheerlead her ("awesome! i hope his nuts feel off ha ha ha!") but then later I would be like, come ON, maybe you shouldn't go over to this guy's house.
But I've been in that position before and it can be really confusing if you're new to the game. So... basically more nuance is needed. Is she like 28 or 18?
jake [email] said at 2:02 PM 03-09-2005: So basically you're saying C?
I mean, I'd like to know those things too, but if it seems like she's done her processing and doesn't want to talk about the details more, it seems fucked up for me to push for them just so I can pass judgment on what happened to her.
brandon [email] said at 10:12 AM 03-09-2005: Um, tell that bitch to chill and that she probably over-reacted. Tell all your friends that she's a crazy hen and that if they try to touch her vagina, even when she's all over them, they ought to come equipped with a cup.
I imagining something like this happened:
"Ricardo, I said no, you may not touch my breasts."
"Sorry, I told you, it was an accident, and jeez, it was over your shirt anyway. And what's the big deal, you're patting MY Dick"
Suddenly and unexpectedly she throws herself against Ricardo in such a way that presses her breasts against his swarthy face.
"You bastard, How dare you!"
Kicks him in the nuts.
"I'm telling all of our mutual friends that you attempted to rape me."
And that's exactly what she did.
Here's the thing, Jake. Women, all women, are essentially drama-centric. They've been socialized as such, and they're primed by hours and hours of soaps, lifetime movies, empowering novels and the standard hollywood bullshit.
None but a few actually want to get raped. But they would all like it attempted - in a safe and controlled environment - so they can play the part of the victim to all their friends and hero
"I kicked the raping bastard in the nuts, let him try to rape someone with his rape-tool now"
If you'll notice - and you've had more than one friend report this to you - one, their stories are all the same (because they're scripted by the media and by empowerment sex-Ed) and two they change DRASTICALLY over time. Also, wait for her and her so-called, would-be rapist to start having coffee together.
And, for the most part, it boils down to attention-grabbing bullshit.
Tell your friend that, if she ever wants to pull that shit again with you, you'll no longer consider her a friend, given that unlike Jesus, you're not too keen on hanging out with liars and sluts.
As far as I'm concerned, a girl should not open her damn stupid mouth with accusations of rape unless the bitch is 1) bruised, bitten and beaten all over and she's not into that sort of thing 2) She's filed charges against the guy 3) She's shot, wounded and/or killed him.
Otherwise, there's no reason to believe your friend. Every reason to distrust her claims. And no way in hell I'd keep associating myself with some unbalanced whore like that.
What women say ought to be etched on logs about to be thrown into the fire.
There's a reason why women were once not allowed to stand as witnesses in a court of law.
brandon [email] said at 10:15 AM 03-09-2005: And I'm sorry, I'm not kidding, if all these casual accusations of rape were true, every man in America would have to sign up for workday swing-shift and every other weekend to keep up with the load.
Women need to stop lying about getting raped. And when they do, they need to face worse consequences - like - actually getting raped by someone with an uncomfortably huge penis. Poetic Fucking Justice, bitches.
jake [email] said at 2:04 PM 03-09-2005: Maybe it's semantics, but you and Milky are the ones throwing the Rape word around, Brandon. My friend said she was sexually assaulted, and I take her at her word. As for the rest of your rant, well it wasn't too inspired, was it? I mean, can we get a little literary? Some biblical something? A reference to the plague years? Or do you take this too seriously for that?
milky [email] said at 2:10 PM 03-09-2005: whether she said it or not, when the story gets gossiped around (and if she's telling you, all her gfs already heard the story and are passing it around), "sexual assault" morphs into "tried to rape" pretty damn quickly.
jake [email] said at 2:21 PM 03-09-2005: Alright, but she's not naming names and not parading her story around--just the couple of friends she wanted to lean on some. And if people take that and build it into something else, that's on them.
brandon [email] said at 3:45 PM 03-09-2005: Your friend is a head-case. Your desire to play the hero-role in this situation will only cause you grief. Is that too plain for you, or should I use a metaphor, like, get your head out of your ass?
You asked for our opinions and advice. That was mine. So fuck you and good day, you priggish, self-righteous Jew.
jake [email] said at 4:00 PM 03-09-2005: What hero-role? What desire?
My desire, which I've acted on, is to say "way to kick some ass,"
and leave it there.
I didn't ask for opinions or advice--I asked what people's reactions would be.
DON'T TAKE YOUR KNEEJERK REACTIONS OUT ON ON ME OR MY KNEEJERKING FRIEND.
You big loveable ball of loathing, you.
brandon [email] said at 4:51 PM 03-09-2005: I love you too, man. You know, we'd probably be best friends if I lived anywhere near you. I can see it now: walks in the park, late nights on the roof staring at the stars and talking about god, masturbating in the same room with the lights turned really low and all of our attention directed toward the T.V. pretending not to snatch glances of one another as we gracefully stroked...
And then, you'd get that look in your eye, a look of withdrawing, I'd say:
"What's wrong Jake, this [and then I'd gesture] doesn't make us gay."
And I'd attempt to calm and comfort you as your tremblings would be noticeable.
But you'd push me away.
"Jake..." I'd protest, with that tone in my voice, "Jake." Again I would reach for you.
And that's when your foot would connect with my nuts:
"Don't think I won't tell everyone what you tried to do to me today!" you'd screech as you stormed out, man-pickle flapping.
jake [email] said at 5:06 PM 03-09-2005: Oh Brandon you forget I am a reconstructed California Man,
and so I would be careful to ask:
Is it alright with you if I nervously eye your rigid knuckles gripping your twitching cock?
Is it alright with you if I project onto you my own self-hatred for ambiguous desires?
Is it alright with you if I misinterpret your genuine concern as exploitative and invasive pressure for closeness?
Is it alright with you if I ineffecually attempt to communicate this in a way that ensures that you will not know what I mean?
Is it alright with you if I inflict deep physical pain on you and then go defame you to our friends?
And you know you'd agree to it bitch.
Oh, you know.
brandon [email] said at 5:32 PM 03-09-2005: All right with me, you ask. Hell, Jake, you've pretty much encapsulated the essence and execution of my every relationship. I'm on board for this Hamburg to Charleston line that you call love.
milky [email] said at 10:31 AM 03-09-2005: I don't like when women throw around the R-word like they're talking about sports. It's a horrible accusation. She hit the guy because things were moving too fast.
How about discussing this shit before you head back to someone's place and kneeing them in the groin? Or not going if you don't want to have sex. Women always say men don't get the obvious. Women don't either. Blaming men is the standard line these days. No one's life is like a J-Lo movie.
meredith [email] said at 2:24 PM 03-09-2005: Jake, I'm just curious, not trying to be accusatory or confrontational in anyway, but why would you put something seemingly serious like this on the front page? Why not in your journal?
jake [email] said at 2:30 PM 03-09-2005: I put it on the front page because I wanted to ask people about their reactions to similar experiences, not get feedback about how I reacted to my friend's story.
I decided not to put it in a member's only journal because I didn't want to post anything specific or private about myself or my friends...but now that I'm thinking about it (it was late last night) other people might be more comfortable sharing if it was in a member's only journal.
