I have put my foot in my mouth for the last time. The other day I was hanging out with this guy, who we will call SD. He happens to live above me in my building and his family owns my apartment. (This is really just icing on the cake!) Because I like to make assumptions about everyone and everything, I thought he might be gay (40% chance). I met SD out this past Thursday and we were chilling and making conversation. It was cool! After a while, a friend of his joined us.
We introduced ourselves, I flashed a flirty smile (you know how I do) and we all continued chilling and making conversation. I then lean over and I ask SD’s friend, “how do you know SD.” His friend replied, “we use to date” and SD acknowledged that statement. I thought, cool, whatever! So, I announce to SD that I figured he was gay because of certain things he told me earlier that month. SD looks at his friend, looks at me and then says, “Denee, we were just joking, I’m not really gay.” At this moment, I wanted to die. I was so fucking embarrassed and I felt really bad. SD asked, so you really thought I was gay. What could I say!
At this point I considered the evening over and just pretty much talked to SD’s friend. (This just added more icing on the cake!) Of course, I had to joke about the whole “gay” thing. I figured I couldn’t get any lower.
I told some folks what happened to me and they all made me feel worst. They said, they felt so embarrassed for me and it was a very low moment. On the positive side, they all agreed this kind of “Alley McBeal” moment fits into my sitcom of a life.
Killloggers is it really that bad! Is there any way I can rise from the ashes like a phoenix?
Side Note: Ben can you change my smile to a frown on my killoggs head. I’m sad in Seattle and it’s not because of the rain.
josh [email] said at 5:24 PM 02-07-2004: I don't think it's really that bad. Gay men stereotypically have more fashion sense, so you can just say you thought he was stylish.
Denee1 said at 6:48 PM 02-07-2004: It actually was pretty bad. You don't tell a straight man you thought he was gay, especially if he owns your apartment and your trying to talk to him.
neilbert said at 6:08 PM 02-07-2004: Don't feel bad Denee, I thought Josh was gay till Teddy told me he had a girlfriend. It must have been Josh's incredible fashion sense ;)
Jake said at 6:21 PM 02-09-2004: Oakland is the absolute fucking best.
You know those little pink and white animal cookies with the sprinkles that everyone eats first, and leaves the bag full of crumbly fake oreos? Those are Mother's Cookies, and they're made here. Oakland is the best.
Oh, and anyone offended by being thought to be gay is hung up and stupid. Says me.
Ms.Mary said at 4:31 PM 02-08-2004: I think these other people who made you feel worse are grossly overreacting. It's not like "gay" is an insult. Or it shouldn't be, anyway.
brandon [email] said at 11:04 PM 02-08-2004: Dude, don't worry about it. A certain Killogger didn't tell me that he wasn't gay until after the third or forth time we did anal. I'd pretty much figured that, you know, that's a good sign. You can never tell. Any one who would be offended is an idiot. And you, Denee, have nothing to be ashamed of.
myriam said at 5:53 PM 02-09-2004: You know what... I think it's not that bad. If he's interested in you, he won't care, and if he isn't, he isn't. I know that sounds silly, but it's true--and if you were having a good time with him, and flirting, then he's probably interested in you!
Here's something to think about--this has happened to me twice actually so I guarantee it's true--when you're with someone you think is gay, b/c you're less nervous, you actually sparkle and shine much more than normal, especially you feel free to be as flirty as you want to be. So, chances are, you are actually in luck that the situation happened as it did--he's probably more intrigued by you than he would have been had you thought he was straight and acted accordingly nervously! Also, if he's secure enough, he'll pass off the gay comment. And, since he was joking about it, he's probably secure enough. So, never fear! I dated 2 guys this way. I bet you were scintillating, foot in mouth and all.
