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amanda





My life

I JUST WANT TO GET DIVORCED BUT CAN'T SEEM TO DO SO BECAUSE MY INSANE EX-HUSBAND APPARENTLY MOVED TO ALASKA WITH THE MARRIED WOMEN (WHO HASN'T SEEN HER HUSBAND IN 6 YEARS) THAT HE IS ATTEMPTING TO IMPREGNATE SO THEY CAN DRESS SAID BABY IN A BAT COSTUME.

I wish I were kidding.

[ posted by amanda at 10/30/2004 01:14:55 PM ]
[ trackback ]



Threaded Responses [ bottom ]
josh [email] said at 1:16 PM 10-30-2004:
Tyler seemed so normal, too!
brandon [email] said at 1:19 PM 10-30-2004:
You are definitely coming down for Christmas, then.
rick [email] said at 2:43 PM 10-30-2004:
How much longer would you have to wait should he spend the rest of his days in a log cabin in the shadow of Denali?
    rick [email] said at 2:44 PM 10-30-2004:
    Wait to be officially divorced that is?
      amanda [email] said at 3:17 PM 10-30-2004:
      According to my friend Ryan (the one who relayed this information to me; Tyler didn't even tell me he was moving), Tyler thought there was a process by which one can forego appearing in court for the finalization hearing. I do not know if this is actually true, as everything I've read about the court system requires the physical presence of both parties at the hearing. Perhaps Bibbly knows something about this?

      There has to be a way to divorce, even if one partner disappears to the wilds of Alaska. I'm just hoping it does not require an expensive lawyer.
        myriam [email] said at 3:49 PM 10-30-2004:
        in the movies all they have to do is sign the finalization papers. of course there are always mishaps wherein the postman can't get to the person in time, but it's ok, because they both suddenly realize they don't want to be divorced anyway, just in the nick of time.

        why isn't your life more like the movies, amanda?
          amanda [email] said at 3:55 PM 10-30-2004:
          Everyday I ask myself that same question.

          The good news is that this whole marriage/divorce thing has provided several chapters of material for my eventual autobiography.

          Also, we signed and submitted the final papers already, but the county requires that we appear at a finalization hearing before a judge before the divorce is official.
          woody [email] said at 4:40 PM 11-01-2004:
          It really helps if they are trapped alone together, like in an elevator or something.
kiche [email] said at 3:40 PM 10-30-2004:
i'm sorry, amanda.
marcella said at 1:20 PM 10-31-2004:
what state are you in? here (louisiana) a divorce can be processed with only one signature. apparently documents are sent and if not returned within a certain amount of time (six weeks i believe) the divorce goes on without that person. again, this is louisiana.
[Reply To this] [#140925] [ip: logged]
    amanda [email] said at 7:36 PM 10-31-2004:
    I'm in Wisconsin. The state seems to like to make it nearly impossible to get a divorce without hiring and agency or an attorney.
      woody [email] said at 11:04 AM 11-01-2004:
      Yeah, because you have to prove that he was properly notified of the court date or whatever. Since he already signed something, it should be relatively easy to get it done, don't you have like dial-a-law or someplace to get free legal advice? Or just pay for a half hour consult with a lawyer.
amanda [email] said at 7:38 PM 10-31-2004:
I can't believe I forgot to mention the part about how, when she was back in Alaska and he was still living in Wisconsin, she made him wear a chastity belt. It was apparently hot pink and would spike his netherparts if he tried to remove it.
    myriam [email] said at 8:18 PM 10-31-2004:
    umm... how did he pee?
      amanda [email] said at 9:10 PM 10-31-2004:
      Sitting down, I guess. I'm unclear on how this device works. I asked Ryan, but he was too traumatized from witnessing the belt to explain in great detail.
        myriam [email] said at 9:59 PM 10-31-2004:
        you might be able to make some jerry springer cash off this. keep that in mind.
          josh [email] said at 10:04 PM 10-31-2004:
          you really should go on one of those shows. you could. the chastity belt cinches it.
            amanda [email] said at 10:10 PM 10-31-2004:
            I like to imagine that the chastity belt was made from that mesh plastic fencing material that is used to hold back snow or eroding sand.
    abby [email] said at 9:12 PM 10-31-2004:
    have you ever puked, joned, and masturbated at the same time?
    josh [email] said at 10:04 PM 10-31-2004:
    WHAT THE FUCK
    meredith [email] said at 12:48 PM 11-01-2004:
    If it would spike him if he tried to remove it... does she have like... a special key or something to get it off when she wants to?


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