karaeoke. i can't spell it, but i can describe it:

there are few things less depressing to me. i went for the first time last fall with crystal sally chuck jim and theresa, maybe others. i couldn't get over how dismal it all felt. this rotating bar that looks alot like this:

the entire purpose of going there this time was for me to practice singing dolly parton with crystal for our coverband. i wanted to get some singing in before we met with the boys.

the best part was as we were walking in. there was a group of three approaching the street to the hotel as we were. a "hip" white guy with an asian dude and a "foxy" eastern eurpoean chic who kind of looked like this:
but had on a knit black dress and punk belt and high heels. when we got to the elevator they were there too. the "hip" white guy asked if we were going to "sing the hits" and daisy asked if that was what the night was called. he said something smarmy and crystal subtlely cut him down and then the eastern european said, "do yuv tink zay vill hav neena?" i almost crapped myself. daisy and crystal did. so we had a night of singing the hits and i was rotating and watching the city and seeing the different parts of the district and thinking again how weird it is that nothing can be bigger than the capitol(?) and observing the way everything looks to be laid out like targets. i imagined a map in some person's room with pinpricks and each pinhead being the building i was looking at. and then i rotated past the pentagon and wondered what people if any were doing in there right then.

soon it was the easterns european's turn and she sang elvis presley's love me tender, and it was out of a movie. she had the deepest voice and these heels and such strong legs and affect. a few minutes later i went to the bathroom:

and she climbed into the first stall and i got the other one. i felt as i was beginnning to pee that maybe i should tell her that i really liked her song, but decided i didnt want to make a connection. then i heard her squirt three strong gushes of urine swish swish swish and i was glad i didnt say anything.

so finally crystal and i practiced and i didnt sound anything like:

but i looked just as happy.

whoever reads this should come to the show on the 31st of july at the black cat.

signing off,
cricket mcLeod