If there is one way in which I prefer America, that's when it comes to candy.
Every attempt I make to diversify my view of the world ends in ruin.
The nations of the world have let me down.
Carla can attest to my experience in San Francisco. I filled a bag with a variety of Japanese candy, and as we walked to the train, I continued popping pieces into my mouth and spitting them out in disgust. Oh so many different varieties of nastiness!
Today I went to the German deli for lunch. The fact that they seem to have sliced an entire onion on my sandwich is beside the point. I dropped a little piece of chocolate into my bag as a treat. I later decided perhaps the chocolate could clear the onion taste from my mouth, so in it went. As I bit into it, whisky squirted onto my tounge. Oh the burning sensation!!!
And so I've learned an important lesson. Go right ahead and respect other cultures. Just don't forget that we're the best.
brianbibbly [email] said at 2:24 PM 11-26-2002: That post rocks. I agree that our candy is the best. Except maybe for the French chocolate. But they can only do chocolate whereas we kick ass in hard candy and bubblegum too. Add in the fact that there are sooooo many other things to hate the French for too.
Baby Duck said at 4:52 AM 11-27-2002: This reminds me so much of the Canadian Candy Challenge on Something Awful. A couple went to Vancouver and snatched up every candy they could find whose name they did not recognize. The taste tests were mostly bad, with funny review commentaries:
kara [email] said at 3:07 PM 11-26-2002: Jelly Belly has some goodass beans, but then some foul ones like buttered popcorn. That's exactly the kind of shit I'm talking about. I blame the foreigners for that too.
brianbibbly [email] said at 3:36 PM 11-26-2002: Even though I don't like the buttered popcorn beans, you have to give it to those fuckers, they taste just like buttered popcorn. I wonder who sold their soul to the devil for the ability to make jellybeans taste like popcorn. . .
tia [ url ] said at 6:26 PM 11-26-2002: I think you should give us all your address, so that we can send you the buttered popcorn Jelly Bellys that the rest of the world just throws out. You could fill your house with Buttered Popcorn Jelly Bellys
Emmaliegh said at 8:39 PM 11-26-2002: you can send me the buttered popcorn beans if I can send you the sardine, vomit, earwax, dirt, and booger evryflavor beans.
tia [ url ] said at 9:48 PM 11-26-2002: That would only be a fair trade if I liked the sardine, vomit, earwax, dirt, and boogey every flavour beans. And I don't!
Emmaliegh said at 10:36 PM 11-26-2002: I dont know what to do with them. they are on my coffee table in hopes that some unsuspecting person will grab a few and eat them.
Lisa T. said at 10:34 AM 12-02-2002: i think in order for that to happen, we're gonna have to make some new friends. pretty much everyone we know has been warned about the every flavor beans. lol
milky [email] said at 3:43 PM 11-26-2002: I had a three bandy bar a day habit until about a week ago. I was digging the new Milky Way bars with nougat, Twix and Zero bars.
...
I was gaining weight at the speed of 3 pounds a week.
Lisa T. said at 4:22 PM 11-26-2002: i would have to say that blue raspberry blow-pops are the most wonderful candy in the entire world!!! they are extremely addictive! yum....... now, what other country in the world could have come up with a kick-ass idea like blow-pops?? god bless america!!!!!
brianbibbly [email] said at 7:29 PM 11-26-2002: Dude, I'd totally hook him up but I just sold my last silicon based time transducing capacitor. Really. Sorry.
tia [ url ] said at 12:49 AM 11-27-2002: I have a care package snet to me about once every 4 months with Junior Mints, Blow Pops, and Peanut Butter M&Ms.
Daniel said at 2:01 AM 11-27-2002: went to see ani difranco last night. she is more politacal than she has ever been, at least at the beacon theatre solo show. she said she was ashamed of her country. guess she doesn't like the candy.
Ben said at 4:03 AM 11-27-2002: I have a rel problem with candy. In fact, I'm even typing this while eating a kings size Kit-Kat bar. I'm willing to bet that I eat more candy than anyone you know. It's a sad sad thing. I just can't stop. I remember once I was in Franklin, Tennessee visiting Stacie Suggs (and Courtney Black) at this movie theater that she worked at and I started eating jelly bellies cos I was there all day while she worked her shift. I ate jelly bellies for about 8 hours straight. It was weird though cos it wasn't until like the 20,000th jelly bean that i realized that i had eaten so many of them. I still couldn't stop eating them even after I realized though cos I had several hours of jelly bean taste in my mouth and i needed to chew now dammit! chew and chew and chew!
good god i never want to eat any of those damned things again.
kaycee incognito said at 8:46 AM 11-27-2002: i discovered the banana falvoured kit kat here.... sounds nasty, but in actuality it is fantastic!!! i will say too, there is a candy here callep pocky which kicks ass... so dont generalize against the nations of the world and their eclectic sweet teeth... i mean, only america gets it right ALL the time, right?
and i LOVE the butter popcorn jelly bellys, too... id fill my house with them any day... maybe my turtle would dig em, but right now he's a cold fanatic for pocky...
courtney [ url ] said at 4:15 AM 11-29-2002: Japanese candy kicks the major ass. I buy Pocky all the damn time... it's become a tradition at my Saturday night poker games.
Oh, and Calpis candy r0xx0rs my s0xx0rs.
Not too long ago, I had white chocolate Kit Kat, and dunno where to find it. Anyone?
courtney [ url ] said at 3:36 AM 11-30-2002: ya get the Calpico concentrate and mix it in anything... water, soda (sprite and coke are good), juice... yum!
xmeredithx [email] said at 11:02 PM 12-02-2002: i got an orange kit kat in the mail today from a pal in edmonton. i have not tried it yet. there will be canadian candy galore at my house on saturday!
kaycee incognito said at 9:39 AM 12-01-2002: i just cannot bring myself to drink anything called "cow piss"... that or the water called volvic...dakara is scary too because of their commercials which consist of little stone cherubs peeing dakara juice everywhere and then showing their little marble butts to the screen
courtney [ url ] said at 12:39 AM 12-02-2002: romanized pronunciation may be similar to "cow piss", but in Japan, it is "ca-ru-pi-su". Just forget that and just say "Calpico", since it's the same thing anyways.
