"Personally, I think that would be so comfortable it would fuck you right to sleep. Comfort is overrated." - Cecil, on sex swings
 

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cecil


Winter Wonderland '05

"Hey, when's the last time you've seen a bluebird?"

"Fuck if I know. What the hell kinda bird is that one?"

"I don't know, something new to these parts. Sure looks like he aint goin nowhere. Damn non-native species fuckin shit up."

Meanwhile in the meadow...

"Dude, if this snowman was real he might be a parson."

"Uh, yeah... a real man would be a person--what the fuck are you talking about?"

"No, a PAR-son."

"What's a parson?"

"I guess it's like a priest."

"Hey watch this, he'd go 'Hello, I'm a snowman parson. Are you married'? Haha! And we'd be all, 'No way, we aren't, we're just dating. But the next time you are in town you can marry us. Ha ha!"

"Eh.. yeah, because we'd be that casual about it. Anyway, he IS in town right now so if our wedding depends on such a random circumstance as a snowman parson visiting our city again, why wait? Let's get it overwith."

"Right. Yeah, I don't know what I was thinking. So what do you want to do now?"

"I really want to discuss our terrorist attack, we need to really plan it out. Can we talk about it by that fire over there?"

"Okay. You know, the snowman looks more like a clown now that I think about it--HEY, those fucking kids are knocking down our snowman! I'm gonna kick the shit outta--"

"No, no, come on, let's go. I really love the snow but my nose is freezing off!"

"Alright. Hey, guess what? I learned how Eskimos fuck."

"Oh really? How?"

"I'll show ya later, heh."

"Shut UP, dork."

[ posted by cecil at 12/12/2005 12:50:30 AM ]
[ trackback ]



Threaded Responses [ bottom ]
kara [email] said at 2:42 AM 12-12-2005:
Perhapsn you need to drnk more. Perja=so. It's hard ton yrpe rihtt now. Perjaps I;m inaginoing it right nw but I've seen this picturd once before.

But...

that's what the holiday seraons is all abiut. i mean... ou're pretending to care about peopler, and you're pYING HOMAGE BY CAPITWLISM IN THENFIRST DEGREE.

i TALKED TO AN OLD FIREND OF MINE THE OTHEHER NIGHT AND HE WAS LIKE " kARA," "YOU'RE AFFECTION WAS TOO IN TENSE." "tOO INTENSE FOR ME, AT MY YOUNG AGE, TONUNDERSANTDS. Butnit was very nice."

And I was thinkknff "yeah. I mean that's p[retty much muy life. These dudes give me up and theyb live tonretgrtet iot forever... and it feels like xome c9onsolation prize butbit's like CLOSE BUT NO CIGAR whicg isban old saying my mom taught my brother when he uased to say "LOSER" all theb time.

Anyways,.. thwe holidays. Hello relarives. You have a klotnof babies now/ I have nothing except for being the piece of crao that I've la3ways been.. tbahat you excpected e tp me. THATS WHAT I AN NOW.

Yes I trioed tl drag somne people into this l.ife. Butbyou can'tn drag nobody ibntp beong thios/.

People are born as they are. i WAS BORH INTO YHJOD life, absx inKNEW FROM THER NIGHT THAT WE WERE LOOKING FOIR THE REMOTE CONTROL BUT MY FDAD WAS SITTING ON IT BUTN TOO DRUNK TOO TELL AND HJE WAS YELLING ATR US.

i WA M A happt fucking p4rson, and nobody who is ever nothappy will ever undersatnd whatb it is to be happty, and haave, ptjer peoiple not NOT und4rstand and just not be happy.

SHOULD I TYPE FASTER OR SWLOWER I DONT KNOW>

I AM THE CLLOLEAST PERSON YOULKLO EVER KNOW>

RTH RHYMED>

GETBIT>?

OK so though, really, sometimes I wreite these poems about the firienbds I have... and the firnends I used to Have, and the paces I might go, or never go, ON this shitty f7ucking terrrain K_N_O)WON_N axs E_A_R_TH_H-/

I meaznm, seiously.

HI, friehdn. I sawe ylout ;/// tonight/./ We used to be so close. Wr excanged phone numbers.

Younwont call mee/ Butbat least we exchanged numbers abd therefore I can remrenebr a time and a chance when were wjhere friends.

I don'/t know. What are the channnces of me malkomng iot to work tomorroe.

WHAT ARE THE CHANCES OF MANMYOPNE UNDERSANTDING ME EVER BWACAUSE THE PEOPLE WHO UNDERSANTD M,E ARE USUAlly "off bafrz
smfv yjr [(backspace) people WJO I THINK UNDERSTAND ME ARE USUALOY WHAZT i WOULD SWSCRIBE AS " off basue
"

I meah///

YOLU DONT KNOW

I NEVER HAD ABYTHING GOOD TO WRIRE E ER

)OK/.

THIOS OIS KILLOGSS PK?!!?!?!

D7udde./

IOBE Time... yjrnkoooo therebew was this guy who seriously, I felty like he und4rtdysnf eerything what I had to ssASSy.

i was DSO WRONG.

I USUALLY A,

OK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

whateebver/

o JAVE THIS video pf me when I was like... 5 yeasrs old and it is the most revealibng thing about emt that most pweop,le will ever see becayase un it i am my trueztr self thaf IU try tooo be and I aim to be and I wish to be every time I'm, talking to anyo of you II am aimging to be myu choiklldhood self whoich is basucakkt the best cvversiohn fof myself tyhat will ever come to be.


OII mean, do tkyu jknow, what U mean, becayse seirioudsly, Ibd vdo...

I AM THE BNEST FRIENDS YOU EVER HAD ABD QAKLLSO THE BEST {ERSOM YOU EVER KNOW>

That's so toatally true.

Peoplew catch on after their zest for life dies, or their soul dioes, or... theybdie...
kara [email] said at 2:55 AM 12-12-2005:
ahaha a though reallty think aboiut the beat things WQE have tioo say on KILLOGGWS.COM if we don't hit the "prievew" button and we jsut HIT "SAY I%" bnefore we edit asnthign.

IU mean really rhoguh... ZACK
seSERIOUSLY TYJPIHJ i AM PROBABLY THE SBIIGEST LOS35R WH0M YOU EWHERE EVER KNMOW EXCVEPT... THWNKFULLY i AHAVE REACED THIED point ehrtr....



THIS JUST DOES NOT
THE last time I reeeealy liked za guy was so lonmg that I don';t even remdnver.'

I mean... I am so... HSWSOIPOOI hot.

Np one will ever appreciate what tewy hgave ubtil it'sn GONE.




KIUND of like thisd POSTY



NO ONE WILL EVER APPRECIATE WGAR IS POSTED UNTIL AFTER I HAVE ALOREQADY HIS THE >>>>

POST IT


button


wjopaIAIA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
    kara [email] said at 3:04 AM 12-12-2005:
    omg THOUGH OK i', GOING TO BEXD NOW BUT

    byut...

    it's the holiday season.,m and I just gots t0o say,..
    I mean...

    thanks for thed dryugs because obviously trhats wgar... trhis shit is all ABOUTR OK

    CECIL

    CECIL

    CEC(L SERASIDE POK YOU insipir4d all the styff I BHAD TO SAY TONFITRj

    fucking TOWSON ROWN CEWNTER a nd COMMERCE


    CXCCO COMMERCE

    COMMERCER ( that was yard to say OK... besdtiemA)

    com-m-e-r-c-e\

    c=r=a=p=o=i-t-ao=l-i-s-m


    -b-u-t-i-f-y-o-u-r-e-a-h-i-i-p-o-y-i-t-sd-o-e4-s-s-n-t-m-as-t-t-e-r-h-o-w-h-y-o-u-s-p-e-l-l-b b-e-ca-iu-c-s-e-t-h-a-t-0s-s s-h-t-io-t-d-f-o-r-faaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaggggggggggggggggggggg-ggggggggggggggggggg-ooooooooooooooooooo-tttttttttttttttttt-ttttttttttttttttt-ssssssssssssssssss-bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbb-uuu-t-nnnnnn-loo-t- C NOT INM A HOMOPHOBIC WATY!!!\

    IN AN IRONIC WAY!!!

    not hopemop phopbes!!!

    irpny!!! iu IRPM IRONY!!!! IRONY


    aaaby::::: GRAVITY BONGZZZZZZZZZZ OK!! thaatys sOME irony for youy

    Look, KILLOGGS.

    I would say that I love4d you but I'm not a liar anr you know it. Soooooo... Benm, Josh,/... edbea. christian, angele, abby( my roomate duh), milky (ok) brandon, KLOREN, EVANM,( loikkk_), oo... sall videograme programmersm ( anyone who I met)

    (the internet is a constna tletdown but you guys arw OK... thisdn sit is OK especiallty whje nn CECIL...

    CECI;L

    postys.

    ok.

    this is osd coll/

    n pone ever likes me who I liek btu serioua;lt///





    GOODNIGHT

    PL OK

    NBYE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
courtney [email] said at 5:03 AM 12-12-2005:
wow. these are the best inspired responses EVAR.
cecil [email] said at 6:37 PM 12-12-2005:
So, people know the lyrics to Winter Wonderland and know what this post is about, right? Yeah, everyone totally gets me. What's easier to understand, my sense of humor or Kara's drunkponses?
    kara [email] said at 1:48 AM 12-13-2005:
    I knew what it was about... I heard that song in the mall just hours before reading your post.
      cecil [email] said at 8:16 PM 12-13-2005:
      It's the result of me working a seasonal retail job and hearing xmas songs all day.


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