Apparently, the story goes, I was about 4 years old and my mom made me a lion costume with a mane and ears and paws and everything, and when I had it on and my makeup was all done she told me to look in the mirror and it scared me to tears.
I suppose the theme of this post could be the terrible things people do to their children for Halloween, stories of Halloween humiliation you may have, but to be honest I just wanted to share this hilarious picture.
cecil [email] said at 11:36 PM 10-06-2005: the site where I found this—which has redundant commentary but more funny pictures of ridiculous knitting projects—noted that this kid will trip on the dangling strings and strangle himself oh the leaf-rope.
myriam [email] said at 1:07 PM 10-07-2005: that site reminds me of the "70s Weight Watcher Recipes" page, a true classic. You would like it if you haven't seen it.
carla [email] said at 9:08 AM 10-07-2005: I wish I had a scanner because I have some choice Halloween costumes from years past.
There was the time me and my mom dressed up like Raggedy Ann and Andy (I was Ann).
Then there was the time my mom made me a very authentic Snow White costume, with a little fake bluebird sewn to my shoulder and all. For some reason this costume gave me a HUGE head and I thought I was some serious shit. I remember snapping at a little girl who had complimented my costume at a costume contest by saying something like "MY COSTUME IS PRETTIER THAN YOURS SO (insert that bratty little harumph noise kids make here). I feel so ashamed of this even to this day, as that's totally not something I could ever envision myself doing now (or even as a child).
F U little Carla!
art [email] said at 9:37 AM 10-07-2005: We had a box of halloween costumes under my parents bed. Each year we would open it up and hope to find something new, but alas it was always tha same old Casper the Ghost or scarecrow or something. But we lived in a good neighborhood and had a large apartment complex down the street so we would always score a full paper grocery bag full of candy and stuff. Expecially the year a friend and I changed costumes after dinner and hit all the same houses a second time.
cecil [email] said at 6:25 PM 10-07-2005: I love the child-mind that thinks if you leave a box hidden for long enough something new will appear inside it. Besides mouse droppings.
myriam [email] said at 11:57 AM 10-07-2005: Cec, I had to work till midnight last night, and this post made me laugh until my sides hurt and I got hiccups and tears smarted at my eyes. It was my only relief from this nasty project last night. I would look at it periodically and laugh all over again, till my abs were sore. Thank you for saving my mind.
myriam [email] said at 11:58 AM 10-07-2005: This post should have stayed on top for days. Every time I loaded killoggs last night that fat little twerp would surprise me into laughing all over again.
carla [email] said at 12:17 PM 10-07-2005: Good question (also, nice photoshop job there with the hat...)
It kind of reminds me of this professional studio photo of my little brother, and he's sitting in a giant pot with fake vegetables placed all around him with a chef's hat on and flour dusted on his face. Totally bizarre.
shauna [email] said at 12:12 PM 10-07-2005: halloween was my dad's major holiday...well, before he went xmas psychotic. our house looks like FAO schwartz 2 months a year.
but he taught me to sew and craft like a madman every october. often, the costumes he came up with were not terribly functional, but i was willing to be the guinea pig for his creations. i was once a giant present. i wore a box wrapped in silver mylar with a red bow on my head. (i fell down and could not get up. ha. there was the salt shaker (my friend was pepper. our tops were chef's hats stuffed with carboard and sprayed silver). and of course, the ill-fated garlic clove costume that nobody got. it worked well in the context of chasing a vampire, but that year no one was a vampire. everyone was a "hippie." which is not a costume, people! the main problem with the clove costume was that it was a really cool adaptation of a pumpkin costume, but the root part was tough. he ended up making it a hood with the eyes cut out. a white hood. with the eyes cut out. i looked like an obese klansman. and that thing took weeks to make. he made me use interfacing. INTERFACING!
me and matt tried kicking it old school last year and shredded up sheets to wrap up ourselves like mummies. we basically ended up wearing longjohns in public and carrrying around sheet parts. the year before i was a catholic schoolgirl suicide, complete with zombie makeup, my real uniform, and bloody wrists. uh, not as funny now that i am all depressed. this year i'm just taking it easy, going as a slutty nurse. can't go wrong with the ol' slutty nurse.
meredith [email] said at 12:13 PM 10-07-2005: My mom made me a Kangaroo costume once. With a pouch and everything. I was Kanga and I put Roo in my pouch. It was one of the only days I was not made fun of because my costume was so cool.
amanda [email] said at 6:42 PM 10-08-2005: My mom made all of my Halloween costumes when I was a wee Mandroid. I was the Statue of Liberty in 1986 for its Centennial, and we made a torch out of a flashlight, model airplane wing covering, and wire. I painted my face and hair mint green to match the rest of the costume, but it didn't wash off like the directions said it would.
I was a Holstein cow one year, and the next year we added a bikini and crown to the cow, and a sash that read "Miss New Holstein" (umm...a town in Wisconsin).
The most memorable Halloween costume I've ever had was when I went party hopping in Madison as Courtney Love in 1997 (old school Courtney). I even gave myself bruises with plum eyeshadow and carefully dotted eyeliner on my arms as track marks. The more intoxicated I became the more authentic the costume grew. I even ran into a random guy dressed as Kurt at one point. We spotted each other from a block away and screamed "Kurt!!!" and "Courtney" in perfect unison as we raced toward each other for a drunken bear hug, in that cliched manner that only seems to happen in 1950s romances. By the end of the night I fell down a flight of stairs with lipstick stains on my chest and bled all over my slip. My friends and I walked home down State Street in the rain, which, um, while wearing a white slip was a tad exhibitionist for my tastes at the time.
If I go as anything this year, I'm going to fulfill my near-lifelong dream of going as Laura Palmer's Dead Body.
jess [email] said at 6:46 PM 10-08-2005: My friend Kelly did a SMASHING Laura Palmer's Dead Body costume one year. I wish I could find pictures of it for you.
My grandmother made all my costumes when I was little. She was an opera singer, so I got weird things like "Queen of the Night." It was chill though - it didn't matter than nobody knew what my costumes were because they were beautifully handmade.
shauna [email] said at 4:49 PM 10-09-2005: "queen of the night" is a very legit and old-school answer to "what the hell are you supposed to be," i must say!
or else i was gonna bring pulp fiction uma back. i loved that year all the drag queens in the roller derby were dressed like that. no shoes, big fat turkey basting syringe.
wait, am i he only one whose dad bastes the turkey that way at thanksgiving??
amanda [email] said at 4:54 PM 10-09-2005: I was Pulp Fiction Uma one year! I even glued the syringe to my chest with superglue and took lots of painkillers so I'd be properly groggy.
