The other day I was accosted by a disheveled, grimy one armed man at six in the morning on my way to the bus stop. When I saw him from afar I hoped to myself that he would give me no trouble. As he walked by me he mumbled something and felt the need to slap my ass. I whirled around in anger, much too tired to be bothered by these kinds of antics at 6 in the fucking morning.
"DON'T EVER TOUCH ME AGAIN!!!!" I screamed.
"WHAT DID YOU SAY TO ME???" he yelled back in a jamaican accent.
"I SAID NEVER FUCKING TOUCH ME AGAIN EVER!!!!!!!"
And then the one armed man really lost it. He began screaming at me, much of what he said I couldn't even tell you but I was able to make out "I'LL FUCK YOU WHENEVER I WANT!!! I'LL FUCK ANYONE WHENEVER I WANT!!! DO YOU UNDERSTAND THAT BITCH??? I'LL FUCK YOU IN THE NECK!!!(huh?) I'LL FUCK YOU AND IF YOU DON'T FUCKING LIKE IT GET OUT OF THIS NEIGHBORHOOD!!!!"
As I walked away from him I screamed "HOW ABOUT YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF!!!!!" and then he turned around and started screaming at me again. As I walked by a guy who I'm sure had witnessed it (he was standing at a bus stop a few feet down) he began to catcall me and make remarks. I couldn't believe it. It's like everyone in this awful, dismal excuse for a neighborhood is a predator. I feel like it's the Night of the Living Dead only instead of bloodythirsty corpses I'm dealing with blood thirsty, sex hungry junkies and thugs. I hate it so much.
After it happened I called Chris in hysterical tears. Chris demanded that I file a police report but I could only do it after I got to work and once the cops came (hours later) they said there was nothing they could really do since it had happened in Pigtown. From now on Chris is going to walk me to my bus stop in the morning and walk me home at night and when he can't I'll only take cabs.
We move in a month or so but sometimes the idea of living another day here is deeply depressing. Nevermind the fact the night before the ass slapping incident happened there was a multiple shooting in the alley way right across from my house. When I heard the gunshots I hoped they were firecrackers but after the police and the ambulance came I knew they were not.
I've decided I'm giving away all my gangster rap albums (and yes, I have quite a few). I can't stomach the idea of listening and buying music that objectifies and glorifies the abuse of women. It makes me sick to know that I did before and blocked out the awful lyrics. Not anymore.
It's funny that I was threatened by a 10 year old girl and harrassed by an amputee. What's next? Getting robbed by a drooling mongoloid?
Whatever. I won't make light of this. It's not funny.
On another note, I have this awful feeling my teeth are going to start falling out. There is something really wrong going on in my mouth but I am absolutely terrified out of my skull to go to the dentist.
Sidenote: In my next post (whenever that is) I will list for you all the albums I will be selling. I'm thinking 3 bucks a piece.
kayceeincognito said at 8:43 PM 05-14-2005: dude, that really sucks. japanese men think it is totally appropriate to reach over and grope away too.. just hang in there!
carla [email] said at 9:07 PM 05-14-2005: Any rap that refers to women as nothing more than holes to stick their dick in is bad for you as far as i'm concerned.
gen [email] said at 8:49 PM 05-14-2005: I know an Italian female grad student who refuses to move back home because of how women are treated over there - she says we have it pretty good here in Montreal. Maybe you should move here ;-)
ed [email] said at 5:34 PM 05-15-2005: I drop big rifles and I cannot lie
I smell like a big pig sty
I'm mostly French and by the stench
You can tell that I'm stuck up
I'm a snob, and I'd like to suck your knob
(Ok, I'm done.)
carla [email] said at 11:32 PM 05-14-2005: Okay, these are the cds I don't want anymore:
-Mystikal-Tarantula
-Master P- Make em say UHH! single
-Ludacris-Back for the First time
-Ludacris-Word of Mouf
-Ludacris-Chicken and Beer
-Lil' Wayne-Tha' Block is hot
-Big Tymers-I got that work
-Jay Z-The Dynasty
-Jay Z-the blueprint
-Jay Z-the blueprint 2
-Jay Z-Volume 2 Hard Knock Life
-Crunk and Disorderly compilation
-Pharoahe Monche (this album is hard to part with because it's one of my favorites. DAMN the track "Rape". Why Pharoah Monche WHY??
carla [email] said at 5:19 PM 05-16-2005: yes, andrew it is! email me your address and i'll send you mine. checks, well concealed cash, money order- whatevers is cool.
carla [email] said at 11:51 AM 05-15-2005: yeah, i realize it's out of print and I really like this album. I just can't deal with some of the lyrical content. I would be totally contradicting my beliefs if I listened to this and didn't care about what he was saying.
carla [email] said at 12:08 PM 05-15-2005: holy crap i just looked internal affairs up on ebay and its going for like 40 bucks. I think I might have to reconsider selling this one so cheap.
angelel said at 7:32 AM 05-15-2005: Oh, Carla! That's awful. It sucks so so so much to deal with this bs when walking to the bus stop. Ass slappers deserve to have their balls chopped off -- then their dicks if they do it again. grrr.
I can't believe the man started yelling scary nonesense at you when you (unCarla-like) stood your ground and yelled back at the man. That would have frightened the hell out of me.
So do you know where you're moving to?
Recently, I received a catcall from dude whose girlfriend was standing next to him. She proceeded to fly into a rage and beat the living shit out of said dude.
carla [email] said at 11:49 AM 05-15-2005: Well, we looked at a unit in your building and the guy was going to give it to us for cheap!! I was totally cool with it but Chris and our other roomate are being annoyingly picky. They both kept claiming that the place he showed us was a dump (it was on the first floor) but it didn't seem that bad to me (i mean, our basement now has 4 huge rats living in it...I'd say anything that doesn't come with 4 large rats and a mice infestation is a vast improvement).
It makes me really angry that I have to have an escort nowadays when I want to walk around the neighborhood. It's really sad that it has come to this.
I was really afraid the one armed guy was going to start following me, I had no idea what his next move was going to be. It was really scary.
And boy! I would have loved to see that angry girlfriend attack that guy. Awesome!
angelel said at 9:31 PM 05-15-2005: Wow. First floor. I wouldn't wanna live on the first floor. Good luck finding a place, though. Amen to finding a place without rats!
brad [email] said at 3:03 PM 05-15-2005: if you feel like moving back to our area, a receptionist is leaving the paper soon. maybe you could have your old job back?
carla [email] said at 4:27 PM 05-15-2005: sometimes i wonder if they'd have me back. i feel i've grown a lot since then and would be able to handle it better now (i mean i was there for two years afterall). i dunno...i could try....?
myriam [email] said at 2:59 PM 05-16-2005: that really sucks, i'm sorry. i got followed twice in paris, once in such a way that i realized there was nothing around that could possibly prevent the guy from doing something if he finally chose to do it. he was walking around back ways and popping up suddenly next to me in alleys, yanking on his dick sticking out of his pants and leering at me. i had nightmares about it for awhile. i would never, ever, ever go back to that neighborhood in the dark. NOTHING is scarier than realizing how ultimately totally vulnerable you are as a smallish girl.
ending advice: TAKE MARTIAL ARTS. even if you move. as soon as i can afford it, this is what i'm doing.
