Rare photo of me entering the world.

So I feel like I should be honest with you all.

I do realize that maybe a select few of you actually do read my entries and I'm sick of living a lie. I'm sick of pretending to be one of you normal "human beings". I can't go on any longer acting like I'm something I'm not. I can't go on telling everyone that I shot out of a vagina. I did not.

I was hatched from a giant cheeseburger.

Laugh if you will. Call me crazy too. I realize that is the risk I take. But it was simply time to be straight up with you guys.

There is a planet in our solar system that is so far away it has yet to be discovered and in two weeks it will be exactly 22 years since I flew down from so very many light years away and emerged from my meaty cocoon. The cheeseburger was not truly edible, and really only a space pod in the disguise of such a delicious treat. Before I developed into human form and was nothing but an alien larvae our great master asked us what we wanted to be hatched from. Though many chose the old fashioned egg I opted for something more original. After heavily debating between a strawberry and a giant boob, I decided a cheeseburger would be more appropriate.

So I hope that ya'll can just accept me for what I am. I'm honestly no different from you, aside from my 6 vaginas and little snake man I have growing out of my lower back (I keep him hidden to avoid pestering.) I also breathe through gills located on my buttocks and every six months shed all of my skin and must recuperate in a light sensitive, air tight chamber. I hope I'm not giving away Michael Jackson's secret. When it's time for me to leave this world, my cheeseburger will come back down and envelope me and all I will scatter throughout the sky and become stars.
Besides all that- just like you!

I guess one could say this was just a giant reminder that it's my birthday soon.
Speaking of birthdays- Happy Birthday Kara!