I feel that it is safe to say that I have finally kind of settled in to this place.
At times, when I first got here, I wondered if that was ever going to happen.
My mind was racing constantly, I asked myself over and over again "Did I make the right choice? What if this was a horrible decision??"
It was all so rough at first. The not knowing where we were going to live, the not having jobs, the break up, the not being a WE anymore, the still not knowing where I was going to live, not feeling like I really had any real friends here....WHAT THE FUCK DID I JUST DO?

Now I can say "You made a really fucking smart choice, that's what."

-I got a job. It was very random. A vague ad on Craigslist, but I called it anyway and within a few hours the lady called me back. I was hired the next week, I've officially been there for 2 months since last Friday. It's not the most fun filled stuff in the world but I get off pretty early, it gives me plenty of time to play on the Web (they've blocked Myspace AND Killoggs though, Killoggs simply for being "EXTREME"), and it pays the bills.

-I found a place to live. A vague ad on Craigslist yet again would determine my fate. Only a few lines but I was drawn to it anyway because it was located right down the street from my cousin (who I was staying with) so it was easy to check out and I liked the idea of being so close to family. As soon as I walked in to the place and met my future roomate it was love. I just felt this instant spark, there was not a doubt in my mind- this was where I was supposed to be. So now I live in the Western Addition/Alamo Sq. area (not really sure what best defines it) in an adorable, cozy apartment. A big fat red haired cat that sleeps with me every night, and an awesome, spazzy red haired lass named Kat has become excellent roomate (and a fast friend).

-I've made some awesome friends. My roomate is amazing and I haven't met someone that I've clicked with this much in a LONG TIME. She's one of those people that makes me go "Where have you been all my life?" She has introduced me to some great people and I've also met some really awesome people in various other ways that make for excellent company.

Most of all, I'm just tragically in love with this city. It's such an intense feeling, I can't even describe it. I am so happy to be HERE and be living my life HERE and though I knew it was something I always wanted, I finally feel like it's reaching the expectations I'd fantasized about for so long. Even when I get bored at my job or shit brings me down, I am totally comforted in the fact that I am in an amazing place.

I feel like I've changed a whole lot in 3 months. It's weird but there are parts of me I'm tapping in to that I thought had died or didn't exist anymore. You know in Drop Dead Fred how Phoebe Cates kind of finds herself at the end and starts living her life for HER and not other people and not Fred, well that's kind of how I feel right now. I feel like I squashed my Fred.