I finally broke down and subscribed to a French cable service. I rationalized it by telling myself I would watch French TV and learn to understand these people when they jabber at me, but I know I'll just watch BBC, and Jon Stewart, if he's on any of the channels. I'll also probably watch all kinds of stupid movies as long as they're in English and not dubbed. Though I did watch "The Crow" in German once in a hotel, out of boredom.

So as to make my life easier, I decided to bundle my Internet and cable services, since I'm getting them through the same provider, France Telecom. (Adding phone wasn't an option, for some reason, even though I get that through them too. I no longer question these things. You have to pick your battles.) Bundling the services, however, required me to get a wireless connection. "Wireless" is the biggest fucking lie in the universe. I got at least 20 wires here, and I ain't even using some of them.

The instructions are only in French, so it took me several hours to install the modem, called a Livebox. How cute. It has a big glowing ampersand on its top, that slowly brightens and dims. Wonder how much electricity that uses. Now I gotta hook up le decodeur, but the Ethernet cable (wireless my ass. bastards.) isn't long enough to reach from the phone jack in the bedroom, where the computer is, to the TV in the living room.

There is a phone jack in the living room though, and I have hopes that I can hook up the Livebox there, near the TV, since the computer seems to only be attached to this little gadget that looks like one of those tiny Japanese vibrators. I guess that's the "wireless" part. Of course, if that works, I have to figure out how to piggyback the phone on top of the modem, or move it to the bedroom.

This bullshit has eaten hours of my life. Precious time, never to be recovered. Damn you, France Telecom.

Maybe I should've picked the Venting category.