Yes, I look at pornography. I have rented videos from an establishment that rents non-pornographic materials as well as the ADULT kind. I have waited in line with families, single women, couples, movie enthusiasts of all kinds, there with pornography in my slippery hand while mulling over justifications to appease my self-consciousness, that I am not embarrassed--in fact proud--that Big Butt Lovers 1 and 2 were enjoyable enough that, yes, I am now giving the conclusion to the trilogy its due. Who isn't proud to be an assman? Who rents the 8 HOURS OF ALL ROBOTIC MISSIONARY dvds anyway? And what could be a greater clarification of my superficially inconclusive sexuality then renting not just one but two selections from the must-be-over-18-to-enter room? My second choice from the interracial genre (usually defined as black men and white women), says about me that I'm not only straight and proud, but I am an equal opportunity masturbator (yes, to be clear, masturbation does occur during a viewing of pornography. I have a fold out plastic lawn-chair dedicated to the event--a head's-up if you are ever scavenging for extra seating at my house) and can watch black cock without insecurity or prejudice whatsoever. Correction: to be frank, I do expect more from the Brotha's videos, not exclusively with respect to size, but white porn actors can be so predictable and uninspired. They cycle through their blocking as if trying to rush through a 20 minute lunch-break workout at the gym using the same rigorous routine they've performed a thousand times over. In my opinion there is a genuine enthusiasm expressed by African-American actors that the average porn cracker lacks. For one thing, black men do not force themselves into an awkward diagonal entry for the camera's sake, they are direct, 100% method, they are present with the booty and the authenticity comes across, quite literally.

But I'm addressing the internet here so I have to include in the discussion the wonderful world of downloadable pics, thumbs, stills. Next time you are on your friend's computer, just do a quick file search for the ol' .JPG file extension and you are bound to come up with no less than 1000 items found and there's a good chance that 90% of those are pornography. You can look at a guy's underwear, his diary, his high school yearbook autographs, you can interview his mother, but nothing will tell you more about the essential man than a comprehensive exhibition of the collection of images he has chosen to option-click onto his hard drive for repeated future viewings, viral risks be damned. I would certainly be humiliated beyond compare if my well-hidden archive were ever to be discovered. On the other hand, it is my dream to marry the woman who would take up the task as a primer, and conclude with a wink and a no-nonsense nod, "Gotcha." For who could I expect to share my life with if not someone to whom I can openly reveal my darkest, albeit 50% gray at darkest, perversions. Pornography is the true barometer of the soul. I'll admit to what one would NOT find in my collection in terms of scenarios or categories: outdoor, nurse, kitchen, hitchhiker, children or the underdeveloped adult appearance thereof, "milf, mature" et al, bestiality, scatological, and women who's skin color is as tan or darker than mine--make of that what you will, this is part of my sexual thumbprint over which I have no willful control. I reveal this personal information as an example with a purely psychological scientific interest in mind. The pornographic images I or anyone has saved when compared with the infinite variety available, could be analyzed and profiled in a Myers-Briggs style 4 category description from the pornographic binaries of: Internal-External, Story-Action, Dominant-Submissive, Ridiculous-Sublime. Give me access to your pornographic archive and with my exclusive lawn-chair testing method I will tell you what your sexual personality is. We may find you to be a ISDR, in which case we can set you up to meet with a compatible EASS. [just $49.99 plus a private room in your house with meals included for a period of 3 weeks. Participants agree that some discovered data may result in criminal charges or additional fees.]

As I have learned about myself, there's a good chance that you too are quite average and normal if not a bit obsessively fetishistic in certain areas, but who isn't? There is nothing to be ashamed of were one not made to feel ashamed by the piercing judgmental gaze of others and the telepathic powers they pretend not to have. What's important to me personally about pornography is not its involvement in getting me off--a mere side effect for the sexually advanced intellectual--but how it can assist in the process of self-discovery and self-acceptance, while more necessary and productive tasks in life like socializing, reading, housework, paying bills and showering can be put off until the next day.