Sometimes when I'm lying awake at night trying to fall asleep I am seized with the intense desire to cut out my own tongue. The only thing that stops me is the fear that even after I cut it off instead of having this loathsome throbbing muscle pushing so hard against my teeth I think I'm gonna choke I'll have a pointy jutty thing falling down the back of my throat.
Jason said at 5:13 AM 05-01-2004: I think your afraid of the reality of your statement, you hide behind a comical mask of shallow benevolence, but your only longing to be accepted as one of the forefathers of origonal thought. I am curious of original intent with such a bold statement.shock value towards acceptance or true inward introspective on a broader scale. Jason.
ed [email] said at 1:27 PM 05-01-2004: Whomever this arsemunch is, they're from Ft. Lawdydale. Do you have a lead as to who it might be? Being local, I'd be more than pleased to offer this person a proper Killoggs beatdown as a welcome gift...
ed [email] said at 1:36 PM 05-01-2004: Headed folks can click on the "ip:logged" link at the end of non-headed posters, and either get a reverse DNS lookup, or a geographical lookup.
amy [email] said at 9:07 PM 05-01-2004: Obviously no one took my pain seriously. Humor me. Sit down quietly. Remove all paraphenalia from mouth. Try to position your tongue in such a way that it does not touch your teeth or the sides of your mouth. So far so good. Feels okay, less stifling, not gonna puke. But wait, it like holding a smile in a beauty pageant, it can only last so long before your jaw starts to hurt and the tongue lurches back forward against your teeth filling in the little gaps again and leaking saliva, throbbing. How can you concentrate? How could you ever sleep? I wish I were a dog and could just roll my tongue right out of my mouth. Their tongues are thinner, more manageable, less disgusting.
amanda [email] said at 12:53 AM 05-02-2004: I used to have this horrible contraption called a "tongue thruster" glued in back of my upper row of teeth, to prevent my tongue from constantly pushing my teeth forward. Ideally, it was supposed to train my tongue to behave and not persistently rest on my front teeth, but really it just made me overly conscious of my tongue's presence. I guess my tongue bothers me a bit, too. Maybe we can have a de-tongueing ceremony.
amy [email] said at 1:08 AM 05-02-2004: Oh Amanda, I knew there was someone who shared my pain. I'm still worried that the absence of a tongue might present its own problems. For instance, with what would I clean my teeth. I truly know of no other appendage which causes so much grief!
amy [email] said at 2:26 AM 05-02-2004: Is there tongue liposuction, or tongue reduction? Women get their toes shortened, why can't I shrink my tongue? And before anyone gets any ideas, my problem does not stem from an unusually large tongue. It is of perfectly normal length and width. I just don't see how evolution played this trick on us.
pokey [email] said at 11:48 PM 05-02-2004: I don't recommend binding. It hurts like a BITCH. The neat thing about cutting your tongue is that once you get through the skin, the muscle unravels like a sweater.
